jen

i finally cleaned out most of my fridge like totally removed all the shelves and deep cleaned them; it’s so fresh and beautiful now! next are the door shelves and freezer and then it’ll be all lovely~

I’m so glad to be off of Spotify. While there’s no perfect alternative, my conscious already feels cleaner with Tidal. Of course, I’ll support my favourite and main artists through physical media support and attending concerts but damn, I feel much better! Fuck ICE btw

watching friends who you’d never think would support A.I gush about it feels so bad…like we’re just from totally different planets. I feel like this about veganism too, but I always brushed that off as an upbringing thing/tied to family culture etc. life fuckin sucks, people suck.

Finally off of Spotify! Switched to Tidal today and rapidly followed all of the artists I wanted, and it feels great :3

holy shit, i’m moving! and into a bigger space with more privacy too! i cant believe it~ i was getting so distraught but it’s actually happening…life is going to be so different!

I find overly sensitive people very draining to be around - if you take every single word I say to heart or think I’m attacking you, I don’t think you’ll want to actually be friends with me. And I really don’t have the patience to explain everything I say. If I wanted to hurt you, you’d know, trust.

cool my dream concert of seeing Wonho got cancelled today. I had an Ultimate VIP ticket too which meant lots of benefits, most excitingly a solo photo with Wonho.

I was looking forward to this more than anything I have so far in the past 5 years.
I’m absolutely devastated.

bad things keep happening to & around me but randomly there will be something really exciting and cool. i feel like i’m being pulled in two directions constantly and it’s exhausting. I’d love to just escape somewhere alone for a while. Maybe i should do on one of those creepy silent retreats lol

wow my mental health hasn’t been this low since my dog and best friend died. i just heard an old lady shrieking and wailing tonight downstairs so loud…i feel panicked constantly now for hours, its ringing in my mind…i’ve never heard someone so terrified. her husband got taken in ambulance…i’m shaken

just keep pushing…

haha what if i die from my tonsillectomy haha wouldn’t that be crazy haha (i could be so lucky)

la la la hating life agaaaaain~

Finally have my tonsillectomy booked, September 4th. I’ve been driven insane with issues from them for years, i can’t believe i’ll finally be rid of them at last…

working with an artist for the past month that i saved up for for years feels very fulfilling - i’m hoping this will pan out to something wonderful, i have so many fun and neat aspirations in store! but everything being somewhat secret is also like RAAAAHHGH i just wanna show EVERYONE!

i’m so tired of crying 😞 i want to just run away somewhere totally alone for a long time, with no one around just me alone for like a month.

not being able to see Keshi again pains me but i keep telling myself to hold out on any spending, monsta x might be coming. hope im right & its all going to be worth it. abandoning my cosplay temporarily, possibly having to miss out on fanexpo, bailing out of wonderland plans…all for hopes of my ult

thinking there was going to be about 6 people able to come to my bday party this weekend but turns out, 18 plus myself and partner making 20 of us! Very exciting, didn’t know people love 5-pin bowling so much! jk i know they all care for me, in their own capacities ^^

i got yet another compliment on my house being cozy! to be fair it has a little something for everyone so i think it facilitates many comforts to people but ehe…just makes me feel warm to hear again so soon after someone else shared the same sentiment ☺️ i am so tired tho now, need big rest!

It’s funny to me how many people have called my home “homey”. I think it’s a good thing? tbh i’m not sure what people mean by that. Does it mean the furniture is comfortable? Is it how our possessions are decorating the place? Is it the amount of hobby related stuff around? Idk lol but i’ll take it.

i’m so weepy lately just want to cry all the time aha. it’s probably all the stress just trying to escape. my health is rly taking a toll on me.

waiting on a huge commission piece is so nerve wracking! i saved up for a longggg time to afford it and there’s only one or two revisions allowed so im NERVOUS bitch but! If it all works out, it could be a great start to something new for me.

It’s something that can spread in my uterus and lead to endometriosis. So if I say “I can’t bc i’m starting my period that day”, please try to treat it differently! I wouldn’t wish the pain I experience on anybody, but it feels like ppl can’t understand bc they can’t relate to the severity…

i often wonder if people think im lying or something to get out of events - im not sure how many ppl know about my fibroid/(s?) but basically tho lowdown is that I don’t get typical periods; i get debilitatingly painful ones, especially the first three days. Like to the point meditation doesn’t help

As announced yesterday, we’re giving away a Nintendo Switch 2 in celebration of Mega64 Day! Contest opens at 12pm PST at the 🔗 below and closes at 5:30pm PST where we’ll be announcing the winner live during our Mega64 Day stream!

bit.ly/mega64switch2

Got some really exciting news today! It’s a beeg secret but eeee it’s definitely the positivity boost i needed so desperately!!!

i feel like if a person has ever been proven guilty of committing a crime, they shouldn’t be allowed to run a country

I don’t think i’ve been truly happy since Cashew was alive and healthy…man that’s like, 6 or 7 years ago now…

told off a mental health worker on a crisis line. felt good, feeling euphoric about shining light on her own shortcomings as a crisis outreach person. so cold andemotionally disconnected. If you’re a crisis call worker and just want to suggest other support? kys. You’re likely someone’s last hope.

losing all care and hope in life. don’t think i’ll be wanting to build myself back up again this time around, too old for that. trying has never resulted in any improvement so i’m feeling good to just…fade out

lately i feel so just…forgotten and ignored ahah. My dad has caused me such immense emotional trauma most of my life and now he’s causing me more pain. Without a therapist (had one but lost her) i’m essentially all alone…and I just can’t handle any more stress and pain from family. I’m struggling…