Sam

TikTok = Hell

o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

Dreamed a new McDonald’s breakfast sandwich with 1 lb. of egg whites called “The Wet One”

Sorry for not texting you back I was obsessing about tragedies I’m powerless to change

idk i just feel like AI automation is going to benefit one very specific income bracket tremendously and leave everyone else in the dust but hey maybe three ghosts will intervene on christmas eve or something

It's crazy how many "gang members" have been providing our food and building our homes and whatnot.

When I was growing up there wasn’t enough movies for everyone so we had to take turns with the movies and if you took too long on your turn we’d charge you a lot of money

Most “little sister” moment she’s had in a while.

Every morning at 6am, from hell's heart, ya gotta stab at thee 🐳

An advertisement for Sling TV offering news channels for $45.99/month.

Anyone who would actually pay for this should not be in control of their own finances.

me as a kid: wow I can't wait until we have robots and computers for everything

me now: if this toaster makes me download an app I am slipping out into the night to start a new life as a mysterious figure occasionally glimpsed in the fog

touching grass isn’t enough i need to touch foreheads with a cat

a man and a woman soyfacing with glee surrounded by confetti, from the Patreon of the True Crime Obsessed podcast, I guess. the three membership levels are non-garbage person tco after party no (ads), bitch!

when there's a mangled body in a ditch

[yelling over club music] I said grief is a rain that falls on everything

We may have our differences, but at the end of the day when we take off our pillow cases we all have upsettingly yellow pillows

A comic of two foxes, one of whom is rosy pink, the other is a peach-colour baby. Rose is looking at Peach gently, while baby Peach looks back at her with full toddler defiance. Rose: Okay sweetie, could you please get in the car for me? Peach: No. Looking sick of the situation, Rose begins to forcibly drag Peach into the car as gently as she can, while Peach fights back, dragging on the ground. Rose: Can you please not act like you are getting kidnapped. Peach: This is an insult to my autonomy! Meanwhile, Blue and Green are sitting in Blue's car, watching the situation. Rose, off-panel: There are people waiting for this parking spot. Peach, also out of view: Death before dishonour! Blue: We should just find another spot. Green: No, I want to see who wins.

ChatGPT is like an evil vizier if he was extremely stupid

A Guardian Moon in Cleveland, Ohio

The United States Air Force is set to deny retirement benefits to transgender folks who have served and earned them. If you think this is right then you can kiss my black ass French style.

every time a christian votes they turn their body cam off

These opinion writers need to be bullied and shamed endlessly.

the brain that can see a face in a wall outlet was always doomed to hear the voice of God in a markov chain

it's so funny that all it took was calling a chatbot "artificial intelligence" for people to believe that's really what it is. most humans are such fucking marks, man. lethally credulous species.

Real talk. There's a list of about 147 things they're doing now that if you don't see anything wrong with them,

YOUR👏ASS👏IS👏IN👏A👏CULT👏

This will forever be the most amazing email.