Apparently, there is 15-20% chance for me to die by suicide.

I visited a psychologist but I felt anxious about the many personal questions that posed.

My experience with a psychiatrist was better. I denied strongly that I had suicidal thoughts, and refused the treatment due to the side effects!

I don't know how to deal with the influx of dark thoughts without a catalyst during the night.

What scares me is that the possibility of a sudden impulse to act on them.

Yesterday, I tried to cut my veins but luckily I missed. I returned to a normal state after seeing the view of a deep cut.