ROXY★STAR

A fabricated statement from Nintendo of America's Twitter account addressing a fictitious scenario in which the Earth's oxygen supply is presumed to be depleting at a rapid pace, leaving humanity with mere days to live. "This is Miyamoto. On behalf of everyone who is employed at Nintendo Co. LTD and its subsidiaries, we deeply mourn the countless human lives which will be lost due to the depletion of the global oxygen supply. To anyone who has ever played one of our games, we are eternally grateful to have created long-lasting fun and memories for you. To ease the suffering of families and children across the world, the Mario Kart World game for the Nintendo Switch 2 system will be available as a free download on Nintendo eShop for the foreseeable future. We hope this small gesture of kindness will ease the pain as humanity prepares for a worst-case scenario." The statement is distastefully plastered with logos for Nintendo and Nintendo Switch 2, as well as with a render of Mario from Mario Kart World.

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. John Default Profile Picture: "No one read this statement and thought it was distasteful? Why did Miyamoto think this would help anyone?" NintenDeen: "Simple: Nintendo is so depraved that they'd exploit a global crisis to boost the player count of the failed Mario Kart World and force consumers back into the Switch 2 ecosystem to boost sales and player numbers."

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. PlayStation Nation: "What the fuck are you doing falsely advertising sales during these trying times? I went to the website and Mario Kart World is still selling for $80 USD." Kremling Kevin: "If you actually read the statement, it clearly says the discount is available on Nintendo eShop. Meaning the application on the Switch 2 itself, not the web browser version." PlayStation Nation: "Point still stands."

A fabricated Tweet responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. Isaboner: "Nothing for Switch 1 owners?"

Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not

\start.gg is a fucking stupid program

"RAGGHHH WHAT DO YOU MEAN RANGE ISNT GOOD FOREVER AND I HAVE TO CHANGE WITH THE TIMES INORDER TO PLAY AT MY FULL POTENTIAL RAAAGGHHHH"

i know i shhooouullldd play sblast but damn vblast is way easier

balatro is for the white people
its not only for white people but it is white peoples thing

kate trying to convince a guy to be gay: "you're missing out on so much man"

Fortnite headcanon

Bush did 9/11 (the guys who hijacked the planes were wearing bush disguises)

kates lowkey hitting the dinosaur death pose rn

she drained me good and hard

she just fucking destroyed my balls

trans women and neo nazis fighting over the worst monster flavour ever made

Genuinely what is wrong with every trans woman ever going feral for white and pink monster when mango loco is right there

First time I had it on a hot day I felt like I had been standing my entire life and I just sat down

on Kate's SOUL my teams getting top placement in speedladder this weekend

+2 +2

"ive gooned to so much muffet"
- @petey.au

i actually missed squid school so much dawg u have no idea 😭😭😭😭
this video is peak this is why i love squid school

fantastic video i highly recommend watching it

YouTube video by Squid School What the Hell is Hyperdive?

@squidschool.bsky.social made an amazingly put together and well thought out video explaining and discussing hyperdive!! i really appreciate him taking the time to play with us, learn how we think, and to be non judgemental when describing his experience!! :3 #compsplatoon

youtu.be/Q7W6qSD-Hhc?...

if i give kate a dollar to give to u will you draw pickel

jojos reference

🏅Carnival Jellies got 4th in Bronze Bracket A41!

@roxystar.bsky.social - "i'm so tired"
@vegablufocals.bsky.social - "i'm so tired"
03 - "she's so tired"
@shmarlow.bsky.social - "i'm so fucking tired"
@montereybayaquarium.org - emotional support jellyfish :)

Carnival Jellies got 4th place bronze bracket in A41 #56!

@vegablufocals.bsky.social: Bucket grind
@shmarlow.bsky.social: Not so paint bot splash
@roxystar.bsky.social: "They're all the same gun"
03: Wellstring meta

Ggs to everyone we played against! <3

🪼Carnival Jellies got 4th Bronze Bracket A41🪼

Vblast - @roxystar.bsky.social
Bucket - @vegablufocals.bsky.social
Splash - @shmarlow.bsky.social
Wellstring - 03
Jellie Cam - @montereybayaquarium.org

Ggs to all we played against
(please sponsor us, Monterey Bay Aquarium)

#compsplatoon

cooler jacket for life its so fucking good

xrank is so damn easy

bluesky is only marginally better than twitter
everyone here is still a fucking moron