matt walsh

Goddammit House of Dynamite just stole 2h of life for nothing

I will carry "I don't get the reference, this is why the left is bad at messaging" with me to my grave. Such a perfect statement for our moment, good lord.

The transaction fees on pardon bribes must be huge.

If he could have been a TV Host that also gets legal immunity, he would have left us all alone in 2024.

Cross country skiing is just a euphemism for doing a shit ton of coke

I think this is his case for Cuellar to switch parties. Seems somewhat calculated for him, which is surprising. He usually has the subtlety of a chainsaw.

Russia probably wrote that one too.

A rebel state founded on a complete rejection of critical thinking would definitely do gangbusters in a civil war.

Can't wait for the Casablanca series that will cost $400m and be canceled after a single season.

*bribing! Argh

Our national humiliation is now foreign countries/orgs are not only bribing our president openly but now also inventing ridiculous ceremonies to rub our faces in how much they are driving him.

Kavanaugh deserves to spend the rest of his life being randomly ripped out of cars and forced to produce ID.

This should happen to every journalist who withholds critical information from voters for personal gain (or their book).

You know, part of me wants him to make it so he can see us tear down all his shit in 2029.

Better than 4, but not great.

I just really regret that I feel all the time like I could fast forward through 4 precious years of my time on this Earth, to be free of This Man finally.

Might honestly be billions, which is a hell of an achievement for a single human.

Trump is selling pardons. Who will be the first media org to get the details and break this story?

At least once before he's gone, he deserves the humiliation of being seen in public with his 2ft long sideburns just draping.

Madison vindicated as Congress learns why they should try to have some independence rather than allow themselves to be colonized by the executive?

Is the economy trending to be better or worse in 11 months? Is Trump trending to be more or less comatose in 11 months?

He's also literally denied knowledge of issuing at least one of his pardons in the last 10 months!

I'm very, very happy for Trump to set the precedent that all his pardons are invalid based on unfalsifiable accusations.

(and has giant Kirkland logos)

You know things are bad when he can't even stay awake while being glazed.

It will one day come to light that all these pardons were paid for. Probably through his sons or Jared. Trump does nothing for free.

Lmao. The leaks against Pete are going to be insane in the coming days.

Facial hemiparesis just means he's thinking hard! Dorsal hand hematomas come from kissing too many hands and shaking too many babies! Hemiplegic gait is how world-class golfers walk! Chronic fatigue is just a sign he's staying up too late Making America Great! Nothing to see here!

2028: "Strong rope, no floor"

My favorite is Franklin Drinks Poison While in Court at The Hague