Al Bush

A blue bowl full of green beans in water. In the background you can see a stock pot on the stove.

My green beans are not Rosed, Sophia'd, or Dorothy'd. They're Blanched.

Man, how long does it take to defrost a turkey? It's been in the fridge for like 3 hours and is still completely solid. This may delay dinner if it's not done in an hour or so.

Have yourself a week!

Can I jump in at S4? Or do I need to binge the rest first?

No, it's Al from San Antonio.

a man with a beard and mustache is smiling and looking at the camera . ALT: a man with a beard and mustache is smiling and looking at the camera .

(close enough)

I can finally go to sleep. I've been here for days. Watching. Waiting. Knowing that eventually he would make a mistake, and I would be ready.

I hear there's a job opening for a street strutting English professor.

*an English professor boss.

Like new years, I'm going to bed early

Do we know which time zone the rapture is happening in? Like, is it midnight in your own time zone? Or should I just get some sleep?

Hey everybody, let's make plans for later this week with all of our evangelical family members that are convinced they're getting raptured and we're going to hell, then ghost them after Tuesday.

Oh! Hello there extended wheelbase Ford Aerostar. I couldn't help but notice you noticing me across the parking lot.

I've just always assumed that Brandon Sanderson is under some kind of Monkey's Paw curse and literally can't stop writing. So any writing he does for others is just an inescapable side effect.

Those yellow Oreos that are not lemon flavored are as bad as oatmeal raisin cookies. Stop looking like your delicious cousins.

It's weird how the Nazis keep showing up to events in rental trucks, right ?

In completely unrelated news, here's an old reddit thread about securing your uhaul with a solid, difficult to pick or break, lock.

www.reddit.com/r/LockPickin...

Thank you for the stern scolding but it’s actually possible to both enjoy two malignant rich fucks viciously falling out and understand it doesn’t fix every problem immediately.

LFG CAGS!!!

That was some top shelf bullshit.

To be fair, the article is reiterating that the owners are going to modernize and update the apartments, but keep them specifically for lower income individuals who already live there.

But also it's 20 effing 25. Let's get that name changed.

A screenshot of an Android notification for the San Antonio Express News app. The headline says "Robert E. Lee Apartments," and the rest of the notification says "Future owner of the downtown apartments plans renovations but no big changes - and that's the point."

So, I do have *one* suggested change.

24 seconds. I'm a fat fingered demigod.

Screenshot of a news alert from San Antonio Express-News titled "Private school vouchers." The message reads: "Tuition for private schools is on the rise in S.A. Here’s what a $10,000 voucher offered by the state would cover."

Why do you fucking think they're on the rise?

Looks like traffic on I-70 is about to pick up.

Me: Starbucks is the only option for coffee at the airport. I'm not standing in line for shit coffee.

Helpful Dad Energy Guy: You can get it in a minute if you use the app!

Me: I'm not downloading an app for shit coffee, either.

I'm back home visiting from San Antonio, and for us, this is amazing. It was 96 and raining when we left yesterday.
Also, I will be covered in SPF 50, regardless, because I burn even thinking about the sun.

Ted's just mad that Trump won't let him take it for a spin to Cancun the next time his constituents need him.

The anticipation is papalable.

<White Smoke>

Cardinal announces new Pope
"Our new pope is, and there's a drive by Castellanos. That'll make it a 4-0 ballgame."

Did anyone get bonked on the head tonight?