Justin Lehmiller

This Sex Position Increases The Odds Of Simultaneous Orgasm For Men And Women - Sex and Psychology As a sex researcher, I’ve learned a lot about what it is that people fantasize about when it comes sex. In many of the fantasies I’ve heard, something I’ve noticed is that people— especially heterosexual men and women—often describe a scenario that results in simultaneous orgasm. The idea of climaxing at the same time seems to be appealing to a lot of people, so is there anything you can do to increase the chances of it actually happening in real life?

If you want to increase the odds of simultaneous orgasm, research shows that this intercourse position does just that for heterosexual couples. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/5/20/this-sex-position-increases-the-odds-of-simultaneous-orgasm/

Why You Can Have Sexual Fantasies About Someone You Hate ... and who is most likely to do it.

About 1 in 3 adults say they've fantasized about someone they hate. For some, fantasizing about a hated person is a form of BDSM. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/202206/why-you-can-have-sexual-fantasies-about-someone-you-hate

Episode 451: The Surprising Science Of The Clitoris (Essential Listen) - Sex and Psychology Throughout history, the clitoris is something that has repeatedly been discovered, described, and then forgotten.

The clitoris isn’t a “button." It's a complex organ, and most of it is internal. In today's show, we're exploring what you need to know about the clitoris with Dr. Maria Uloko.
https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-451-the-surprising-science-of-the-clitoris/

Too stressed for sex? Associations between stress and sex in daily life Although it is deeply ingrained in our beliefs that stress affects sexual experience and behavior, factual knowledge about this interplay is scarce de…

Research finds that women’s sexual desire is more strongly affected by stress compared to men. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0306453025003063?via%3Dihub

Episode 451: The Surprising Science Of The Clitoris (Essential Listen) - Sex and Psychology Throughout history, the clitoris is something that has repeatedly been discovered, described, and then forgotten.

The clitoris has been discovered, described, and forgotten more times than any other organ. Today on the podcast, we're talking about why, and what it means for women's health and pleasure. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-451-the-surprising-science-of-the-clitoris/

How Masturbation Trends Have Changed Over Time - Sex and Psychology Are people today masturbating more or less than they used to? A new study has the answer.

How have masturbation rates changed over time? New research suggests that self-pleasure is becoming even more common for men and women alike. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2025/11/20/how-masturbation-trends-have-changed-over-time/

What It Really Means to Be Sexually Compatible Your belief that sexual compatibility can't be fostered is what's hurting your sex life. Here's how to build it one step at a time.

Sexual compatibility isn't found. It's created. Research shows that couples who hold sexual growth beliefs (meaning they believe that sex can improve through effort, intention, and communication) report higher levels of sexual satisfaction. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ever...

Episode 450: The Weird History Of Masturbation - Sex and Psychology In today's show, we're talking about the history of masturbation and why our relationship with self-pleasure is so complicated.

For most of human history, people masturbated without care or consequence. But at some point, that changed. So what happened? Let's explore the history of self-pleasure. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-450-the-weird-history-of-masturbation/

Too stressed for sex? Associations between stress and sex in daily life Although it is deeply ingrained in our beliefs that stress affects sexual experience and behavior, factual knowledge about this interplay is scarce de…

New research suggests that women's sexual desire and arousal is more strongly impacted by stress compared to men. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0306453025003063?via%3Dihub

Episode 450: The Weird History Of Masturbation - Sex and Psychology In today's show, we're talking about the history of masturbation and why our relationship with self-pleasure is so complicated.

While “No Nut November” is a relatively recent phenomenon, it has deep roots and reflects humans’ longstanding and very complicated relationship with self-pleasure. Dr. Eric Sprankle https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-450-the-weird-history-of-masturbation/

Research finds that having a pet present during interactions between romantic partners increases visible signs of positive emotions, such as smiling and laughing. These effects persisted even after the pet was no longer in the room. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/02654075251383683

The Truth About the “Oral Sex Gap” - Sex and Psychology According to countless popular media articles, there is a massive disparity between heterosexual men and women when it comes to giving oral sex. Some of these articles suggest that, in male-female sexual encounters, “blowjobs are basically a given” while cunnilingus is “one of the least-often performed sex acts.” In other words, men are getting oral all the time from women, whereas women are almost never receiving it from men—a situation that has been dubbed the “oral sex gap.”However, I did some digging into the prevalence of oral sex across genders and it turns out that these claims don’t...

Among college-age adults, women are more likely than men to report giving oral sex, whereas among older adults, men are more likely to report giving oral sex than women. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/5/3/the-truth-about-the-oral-sex-gap/

Women Who Use Marijuana Before Sex Report Better Orgasms - Sex and Psychology How does marijuana affect women’s sexual functioning? A recent study published in the journal Sexual Medicine sought to find out. Researchers anonymously surveyed hundreds of women visiting an obstetrics and gynecology clinic in St. Louis, Missouri about whether they used marijuana and, if so, whether and how it affected their sexual satisfaction, sex drive, and orgasm quality. Key results from the study are shown in the infographic below.

For women who said they had used marijuana before sex, a majority reported that it improved their sexual functioning. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/5/1/women-who-use-marijuana-before-sex-report-better-orgasms/

Smell Is Our Least Appreciated Sense: How Smell Affects Our Sex Lives and Health - Sex and Psychology You just might be taking your sense of smell for granted, argues Dr. Rachel Herz in the TEDx video below. In this talk, Herz describes how little appreciation we have for our sense of smell, while also describing the myriad powerful ways that smell affects our quality of life.

People who are more sensitive to smells tend to report more pleasure from sex and (at least among women) more frequent orgasms. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/5/17/smell-is-our-least-appreciated-sense/

Talk Dirty To Me: The Psychology of Dirty Talk New research explores how many people are into dirty talk and why it's arousing.

Dirty talk fantasies are quite common across gender—and there is a very rich psychology behind them. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/202009/talk-dirty-me-the-psychology-dirty-talk

YouTube video by The Dissenter #1176 Justin Lehmiller: The Science of Desire, and The Most Common Sexual Fantasies

New episode (1176), with Dr. Justin Lehmiller (@justinlehmiller.bsky.social). We talk about the #Science of desire, and the most common sexual fantasies. #Psychology

YouTube: youtu.be/RVjSMnwqs6M
Podcast: bit.ly/48kUlwT

How Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors Change as We Get Older - Sex and Psychology Sex and aging is a topic that has been underexplored in sexuality research, given that the bulk of sex studies to date have focused on college students. However, we’ve learned more in the last few years, as online data collection and national surveys of sexual behavior have increased. One study of sex and aging that recently caught my attention explored how people’s sexual attitudes and behaviors change over the lifespan using data from a large and diverse sample of 1,522 adults from across the United States.

As men got older, sexual satisfaction didn’t change; by contrast, it increased for women, to the point that older women actually became more sexually satisfied than older men. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/4/24/how-sexual-attitudes-and-behaviors-change-as-we-get-older/

Aggression in pornography has tripled over 25 years, study finds Depictions of physical aggression in popular online pornography have substantially increased over the past quarter-century, new research finds.

New study finds that the rate of visible aggression in porn videos has nearly tripled, rising from approximately 20% in the videos from the early 2000s to around 55-60% in videos from the last decade. https://www.psypost.org/aggression-in-pornography-has-tripled-over-25-years-study-finds

Episode 449: The Real Cost of Abstinence Pledges - Sex and Psychology How did abstinence pledges become so widespread? And do they actually work as intended? Let's talk about it.

Do people still take abstinence pledges? And did they ever work in the first place? In today's show, we're diving into what the data says about the abstinence movement. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-449-the-real-cost-of-abstinence-pledges/

Thank you again! ChatGPT FTW! It immediately identified the issue and remedy. Sorry to not see you at SSSS!

Thank you so much for this! There was an update that caused a critical error in some links that I wasn't aware of. It has been fixed now. Can you please double check to make sure this link now works appropriately (i.e., standard view) on your end? Appreciate you!

Study Abroad With Me in Paris and Amsterdam! - Sex and Psychology Join Dr. Lehmiller and Sexual Health Alliance in Paris or Amsterdam next year for an immersive study abroad course on sex and culture.

Ready for your next adventure? Join me and Sexual Health Alliance in Paris and/or Amsterdam in 2026 for one of our unforgettable, immersive study abroad courses on sex and culture! https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2025/11/13/study-abroad-with-me-in-paris-and-amsterdam/

The stereotype is 'that women want or need relationships more,' but data shows it's men who are more likely to rush down the aisle A new Kinsey Institute study finds 18.8% of men would rush marriage versus 13.7% of women.

There’s a stereotype out there that women want or need relationships more than men, and that women are more inclined to commit faster to a relationship. However, research finds that men are actually more inclined to escalate a relationship faster. www.cnbc.com/2025/10/18/n...

Episode 448: Life After Purity Culture - Sex and Psychology Purity culture teaches folks to fear sex and feel ashamed of it. So how do you move past it? That's what we're talking about in this episode.

“Just don’t do it” isn’t sex education. But it's the only thing a lot of people ever learn. In this episode, we explore what healing looks like when you’ve been taught fear instead of knowledge. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-448-life-after-purity-culture/

Episode 448: Life After Purity Culture - Sex and Psychology Purity culture teaches folks to fear sex and feel ashamed of it. So how do you move past it? That's what we're talking about in this episode.

If you grew up afraid of your own sexual feelings, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken.
In this episode, we're diving into life after purity culture. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-448-life-after-purity-culture/

How Seasonal Affective Disorder Affects Sexual Desire - Sex and Psychology When the days get shorter, people often feel more depressed, and some feel less desire for sex than usual.

It's that time of year again when the days start getting pretty short. If you've noticed changes in your mood or libido lately, you're not alone. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2025/11/10/how-seasonal-affective-disorder-affects-sexual-desire/

One in Five People Report Having Been in a Sexually Open Relationship - Sex and Psychology How many people have ever been involved in a consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationship before? The results of two recent studies involving nationally representative samples (one from the United States and one from Canada) reached nearly identical conclusions: approximately 20% (or 1 in 5) respondents said they had.The U.S. study is from 2016 and it was previously covered on the blog here; however, the Canadian study just came out, so here are a few of the highlights from it.

Although only 2-3% of people say they're currently in an open relationship, about 1 in 5 say they've had an open relationship before. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/4/17/one-in-five-people-report-having-been-in-a-sexually-open-relationship/

Episode 447: Do Sex Toys Ruin Sex? Myth Vs. Fact - Sex and Psychology Have you ever heard that vibrators will desensitize you? Or that if you need a toy, you must have a problem? Let's set the record straight on sex toys.

Have you ever heard that vibrators will desensitize you? That sex toys are just for women? Or that if you need a toy, something must be wrong with your sex life? It's time to set the record straight. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/podcast/episode-447-do-sex-toys-ruin-sex-myth-vs-fact/

The History of Obscene Telephone Calls - Sex and Psychology People have been making obscene telephone calls for almost as long as the telephone has been in existence. In recent years, however, they have begun to change form, as digital communications have offered several new ways of achieving the same goals, while maintaining more anonymity. A recent paper in the Archives of Sexual Behavior traced the history of obscene telephone calls and the people who make them. Below, I share some the timeline and some of the key takeaways from this review.

It turns out that people have been making obscene telephone calls for almost as long as the telephone has been in existence. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/4/10/the-history-of-the-obscene-telephone-call/

How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex - Sex and Psychology As a sex educator and researcher, one of the more common questions I get asked is when and how to talk to your kids about sex. Case in point: a reader of the blog recently asked, “At what age should parents talk about sex to their children—or at what age do children need to know about sex?” So when should you start? And what the heck do parents need to know about navigating this discussion? Here’s a brief guide to help you get started.

Too many parents wait for the “right” time to come along for “the talk,” only to find that it never does. Recognize that there's never going to be a "right" or "perfect" time. https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/4/5/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-sex/