FKA-PFL

I need a vacation from Earth (but not in the Katy Perry way)

Happy Fuck This Day to everyone with a conscience, and happy Fuck This Night to everyone with a dog

Don’t know who needs to hear this, but vapes are not accessories.

as my mother always said, the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his asshole

*unless you don’t engage in penetrative sex, in which case, fair

I don’t understand identifying as a side.* Are we not all sides up until the point of insertion?

*rolls up to the Cowboy Carter concert with a baguette sticking out my back pocket just to make sure no one’s confused*

You all look cute in your lil Beyoncé getups and all, but you *could not pay me* to wear red, white, and blue in 2025.

Label reading “The Gripper: Helps Prevent Liquid Leaks”

Pretty much the exact opposite in my experience, but go off I guess

im unique . everyone else is a type of gay based on a piece of media they consume

“hand pots”

A huge reason I don’t fuck with Burning Man

Anti-intellectualism will kill us all 😵‍💫 (if the deregulated health systems and inadequate healthcare don’t get us there first)

Say it with me: THE PROBLEM IS THE COST OF HIGHER EDUCATION, NOT THE “USEFULNESS” OF DEGREES

I love when work goes from borderline-boring to WHY IS EVERYONE TALKING to boring again all within the span of about 36 hours. It is so fun and cute and good for my nerves

CUNTISSIMO

Woooow, LILCF (late in life Chumbawumba fan)

the elements of my zodiac sign:

It’s what I deserve 😔

I went my whole life not understanding anime crushes, and now that I’m entering my late 30s, I’m looking at the dads and uncles and grandpa of Food Wars like 😏 (WHATiswrongwithme)

As a writer by profession and an artist in my free time, yes 🥰

pulling off the mask on the united states and revealing it was scam nation this whole time

Photo with my dog, Jones

I had to take this photo for work socials, and it was a pain in the ass to get (Jones has many opinions: anti-cat, anti-bird, anti-photo, etc.), so now you gotta see it

Text exchange: Person 1: what's going on with the economy Person 2: worry kitten Person 1: okay ♥️ yay

I got tickets to the Kesha/Scissor Sisters Tits Out Tour! It may only be April, but it’s already shaping up to be a slutty summer. Mom would be so proud 🥲

I want to meet the person paying for champagne room time with Queer Barbecue Sauce

I hate the term “meet cute” so much. You mean a fucking interaction?

I am an empath [walks into the sea]

Fast food menu offering “side cheese”

Back in the United States, babyyyyyy 👎👎👎👎👎