Marilyn

Not the brother asking for an energy drink on his wedding night 😬🤢

Solid quarter of my conversations with my parents this (sibling wedding) weekend have been them trying to get me to invalidate my cousin's trans partner

Why did i just get jump scared by the fucking pope

Want to multitasking, but tethered to the sink by the curling iron

I got a gift box with it included to be delivered the week of Thanksgiving 😅🧀

I want to see Bovino perp walked out of the courtroom to the Sufjan Stevens song

They're doing the snow command dry runs 😢❄️

I made such a good playlist for my brother's rehearsal dinner and I'm already upset that no ones gonna appreciate it

Just hit me that im writing a $1.4M check

a large road sign with the text fuck ICE located on a corner of an intersection in chicago

shout out chicago.

The extra blanket has taken me hostage..... likely won't resolve the dispute until spring

My phone screen is fully covered by insurance 🙌

(It's woulda been $310 😱)

Why have I never thought to ask the bartender for juice with soda water when hungover at brunch until today

Well it finally happened. After.... please hold for math and memory........ after 21 years of phone ownership I have broken the screen 😭🤳🪨📱

Talked myself out of the heeled boot but not into tights 😅

Getting close to needing to decide if I wear my fleece tights under my costume :/

Used flex time to start the holiday early 🎃🦇🕯👻🕷

open.spotify.com/playlist/05a...

“They treated us like animals, or worse than animals, because no one treats their pets like that.”

Did it anyway

The problem with the german (adjacent) food from my childhood is the inability to buy a small amount of potatoes or cabbage

Standing next to the fresh asphalt mat like it's a campfire 🚧🏕

Extremely normal behavior

I'm pretty sure days used to have hours and minutes in them

Love when photos turn out well and hitting send on the album

Still not liveposting this hearing b/c it's dense, largely administrative issues, but this was worth highlighting:

District Judge Jeff Cummings just asked a govt atty if he can certify relevant immigration detainees are being held in "safe and sanitary" conditions.

"I cannot," a govt atty replied.

it’s beyond comprehension that scenes like this have become routine in chicago.

masked soldiers are carelessly lobbing chemical weapons—that are banned from use during warfare—on random residential streets.

this is the third time feds have tear-gassed residents in chicago *this week!*

I'm being punished for type B people's inability to remember appointments without 30 reminder calls

Sometimes supporting the village is donating and volunteering and other times it's pantomiming that the school bus driver forgot to turn on their headlights

As if microsoft isn't going to leak all my data themselves anyway

Microsoft functionally bricked my laptop with their fucking bitlocker program