lucas 🐈‍⬛

going to a stupid ass 9am intro lecture w no content. fuck my stupid Attendance Monitored life

even before i was on T i had to be on hormonal bc to get my body to actually do anything it was meant to be doing and there are other things too where im like ... ??? AM I ??? but alas i cant afford to find out via chromosomes and its difficult phenotypically when ive Been on t and my sex is diff

unprecented levels of transsexuality

i dont love that intersex is here but alas i am not actually. sure if i am or not. i wouldnt be surprised. and a lot of my answers to those qs come from having been on T anyway. whatever

DAMN 😭

probably a diff thing but i cant fucking STAND when "haha girl says shes got a dick thats not possible so thats funny" is the punchline of a joke... :|

i could yap for a lot longer about this (being bipolar but also very psych sceptical pro abolition and how i balance those, if theyre contradictory at all, how i view my life w these experiences, etc) and maybe sometime i will! idk! for now though, bedtime

it sure as hell makes it a lot easier to deal with when you can see beauty. okay thats all goodnight look for the beauty in your life and you will find it in Something even if it is tiny

for me those are my lovely friends (irl and elsewhere), my girlfriend to be wife one day, the subject i love studying, the place i love living in, the music i love listening to & going to hear live, and my newly improved physical health!! none of this fixes the core issue (money + transness), but

you arent a bad person for experiencing both. we like to say our friends and families can save us from these feelings, but sometimes the feelings come from large scale material issues & we cant be directly personally saved from those, but you can still appreciate the things that bring you comfort

off to bed now, but instead of feeling sorry for myself ill just say this: its fine to be suicidal even when you have "preventative factors". we live in a very fucked up world and not wanting to be in it is, i think, a very rational response. that can coexist with the good parts of your life, and

unfortunately no amount of talking to my friends or drugging myself up will *take away* the hopelessness of being working class in late stage capitalism or change my material conditions! but goddamn it i can have a giggle in the meantime at least

a reminder of how life persists anyway and chronic suicidality or the fact i live with repeated hypomanic and depressive episodes doesnt need to hold weight over how good/bad my life is or vice versa. my lifes good & i still feel this way, so i cope with it, because my lifes good and i like it

idek why im talking about this honestly but whatever. 2 and a half years ago today i tried to kill myself, and honestly i do not feel much different now to how i did then, but i have a lot more good things going for me. sometimes that makes me feel very ungrateful and shitty! but really its just +

i cant wait to see what we look like in another year ahhh!!!

you can see me get healthier and healthier and nat flourish into femininity and become the most Her ive ever known and it makes me so emo 😭😭😭😭😭

looking at old pictures of me and nat from my january visit vs ones from my last visit and its fucking insane

WELL GOOD FOR THEM IG BC THAT SHIT WAS SO SCARY

IT DOES TELL THEM I SAID IT DOES AND I TASTED METAL AND EVERYTHING

omg can i be in it x

You think I shitpost to 500 followers because it gains me notoriety? I would shit talk to goddamn squirrels if I have to. It's the love of the game for me.

it goes for any medication - this stuff is what they give you in a&e to "pump your stomach" when you overdose on tablets of any kind!!! but please do not get accidentally pregnant for some black sweets!!!

ESPECIALLY BIRTH CONTROL PILLS! they will NOT protect u from pregnancy if u eat activated charcoal!!! you NEED barrier contraception too!!!

people are so disingenuous when they talk about how people think “calling robots clankers” is the sole focus of people's ire like these people aren't making allusions to jim crow-era racism with these memes. “rosa sparks”? “george droid”? “bolt picker”? this is the side you're vehemently defending.

OR A screams himself awake, B and C run in to find him and they cuddle on the couch with a movie and B makes hot drinks and everything

i Am thinking of all 3 at As house, A sleeps on the sofa and lets B and C have his bed, theyre guests after all. A has a nightmare though and just wants his own bed and goes in half asleep and B and C get him in the bed w them etc

fluff prompts for very-dubiously-platonic polyamory...??? if u can call it that. i am struggling to find any that work well w 3 ppl

Can donate to the mosque here, feel its important to show the community solidarity at this time.

www.peacehavenmosque.co.uk/support-us

Peacehaven: Fire at East Sussex mosque probed as 'hate crime' Video appears to show two people in balaclavas at the mosque before a large blaze spreads.

A mosque in my city got attacked last night. Shits getting grim here 😫

i also think it maybe fucks with my mood because ive been Stable for like a week now, not stable in a Good place but stable nonetheless, and i feel Far Worse today