Ronaldito

Not piss.

Things that grind my gears: sinks that are too shallow and beveled incorrectly/ with facets of too high pressure. When the water flows out the faucet it flops directly onto my pants right in the I pissed myself zone.

Yes I am drunk

You know, I look at my man so lovingly, I love home so much.

Wow just ordered quite possibly the shittiest smoothie just now. This tastes like water with dirt.

This mall is fucking huge

@american dream

The torture of hobbling the national mall on a bad back

No taste

And this home only has one bathroom omfg

Omg home not even 30 mins and clogged this fucking toilet

Chinatown

It’s bothering me like crazy my socks don’t match this badly rn. Idk how I slipped this

How much I love this booger.

Welp. He asked my name three times and I literally spelt it for him. 😂😅

Yo I hugged someone at number nine last night that straight up smelled like old carpet and dog. 🤮🤢

Una cagadera bro

Omg that Pizarro last night is really fucking me up. I’m not ready to swear off them but wow they are fucking me up rn

Somehow morning brain got the best of me and I arrived to work fully not noticing I don’t have a belt on my pants.

Interesting

Noticing that my lunch box, headphones case, phone case, desk pad, and ear plugs are all the same shade of pink, I see I’m the token fag of the office.

Elphaba got hands I just know it

We’re so back.

So it’s just me and the 12 pound pernil. And I’m just staring at it like it’s gonna marinate itself.

Why is every dc grocery store stocked like we’re in North Korea at all times of the year.

Such a good album that I feel falls under the radar of so many

Ingi sucks.

This lady is breathing so loud next to me…

And no regrets were made

Once I slept for 17 hours straight. I was kinda impressed ngl

Once you get your own bidet no other toilet is the same man