Verified Tom Carpenter

If [insert billionaire of your choice] tells you to vote for someone, that’s a pretty good indication that you should vote for someone else. Someone needs to tell that to the NY Times, who think we should all vote the way the CEO of an eyeglass company is voting.

whatever you think of Spanberger, the fact that her opponent ran a campaign based almost entirely on transphobia and is on track to eat shit in the biggest blowout the state has seen since 2009 is unambiguously a huge win

Think about how much money Michael Bloomberg , DoorDash, and a ton of Trump donors spent to get Cuomo elected. Look it up and see who they are. And then, think of how those millions of dollars could be doing other, better things for people.

They said to call if there were problems in your polling place. My problem was that some people appeared to be voting for Cuomo.

I would never try to yuck anyone’s yom, but if your yum is disgusting or illegal…

Super gay.

I love how Rep. Joe Neguse reframed this question.

I'm sure I'm not the first to make this joke, but ... where are the boxes of confidential documents?

Bride Calls Out Her Trump Loving Dad For Wearing His MAGA Hat During Wedding Speech

Narcissism 101.

The man who sold our city out to hold the GOP convention here so that they could ride a wave of post-9/11 seething patriotic fervor. The man who could have fast-tracked marriage equality, but instead coddled his GOP base… Need I go on?

Radio Free Asia shuts down as US funding dries up The Trump administration has targeted networks funded by the U.S. Agency for Global Media as "propaganda."

Radio Free Asia is halting operations as its federal funding dries up, eliminating one of the few independent sources of media in a region dominated by authoritarian regimes.

How many January 6 defendants/pardoned criminals, are working for ICE right now?

The Walton family (who own Walmart) are worth over $400 billion, yet many of their employees are on SNAP.

Bezos is worth over $400 billion, many Amazon employees require SNAP.

The people who need help are not the problem.

It’s corporate greed. It’s an unwillingness to pay a living wage.

If members of the United States military are truly being paid their salaries by a private individual, the American people should know who that individual is. Now.

Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.

Is it a ballroom because he’s gonna rub his one ball over every flat surface? I only ask, because I’ve been humming that “Hitler only had one ball” song for a while now….

Maybe this is obvious to everyone but…why does the White House need a ballroom? It has enough space for state dinners, no? Is this for dances? Weddings? Storing classified documents?

Just confused so the reason would be helpful thx

Oh, shit! Oyster Daddy could win this!

Andrew Cuomo’s campaign just posted — and quickly deleted — this AI-generated ad depicting “criminals for Zohran Mamdani.”

Features a Black man in a keffiyeh shoplifting, an abuser, a trespasser, a trafficker, a drug dealer, and a drunk driver all declaring support for Mamdani.

Cuomo is corrupt and desperate. Do you need a third reason not to vote for him?

Actually, I’m paying for this fucking ballroom. Trump raised my takes to give a break to these billionaires, and the money they stole from me, they’re giving back to him.

Once they’re done deporting all the immigrants maybe that can fill those jobs as programmers, physicians and university professors that are apparently being stolen from them.

In fairness…”extrajudicial killings” is a little more economical than “execution by the government without due process of law.” Then again, “murder” is pretty tight.

Hey red state cattle ranchers who voted for Trump— at least a little trans kid isn’t playing sports in your town, so all-in-all, you’re winning, right?

So, that’s uncool, obviously, but even though I’m gay, if the context was, “I don’t think fags should be able to marry,” that’s different than, “So, fags want to get married. Who the fuck gives a shit.”

Cover of Merriam-Webster's All Caps dictionary, a red background with a white circle and text for people who are mad.

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY SORRY FOR OUR DELAY WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THIS WAS A REAL DAY.

If I learned anything from Kenny Rogers, I learned that every hand’s a winner and every hand’s a loser, and the best you can hope for is to die in your sleep.

Known Lethal U.S. Attacks on Civilian Vessels in the Caribbean Total reported killed: 34 people Notification Date Number Reported Killed Approximate Location Notification URL September 2, 2025 11 “in the SOUTHCOM area of responsibility” (later revealed as between Sucre, Venezuela and Trinidad and Tobago) View September 15, 2025 3 “in International Waters… in the SOUTHCOM area of responsibility”; Colombian president claimed it was a fishing boat in Colombian waters View September 19, 2025 3 “in international waters… in the USSOUTHCOM area of responsibility” near the Dominican Republic View October 3, 2025 4 “in international waters just off the coast of Venezuela” View October 14, 2025 6 “in International Waters… just off the Coast of Venezuela” View October 16, 2025 2; 2 reported survivors “in the Caribbean” View October 17, 2025 3 “in the USSOUTHCOM area of responsibility” View October 21, 2025 2 “in the Eastern Pacific” View

34 people killed in 50 days. Their guilt or innocence unknown, for an alleged crime that doesn't carry a death sentence. That's a lot of death.

adamisacson.com/boat-strikes/

Malala is on CBS Mornings talking about how she’d forgotten about being shot in the head by the Taliban until she “did bong” and as soon as she inhaled, it all came flooding back to her. So don't do bong.

Here’s a thought—how about people and businesses stop paying Jeff Bezos money for things?