Eddie Says Stuff

Cuz I didn’t get to leave work early and I’m still bitter about that

This Weeks Onion Magazine: ‘I Don’t Know How And It’s Not My Event’: Simone Biles On Her Decision Not To Snowboard At The Winter Olympics

This Weeks Onion Magazine: ‘I Don’t Know How And It’s Not My Event’: Simone Biles On Her Decision Not To Snowboard At The Winter Olympics

I was at a wedding the other night and a couple of singers started to sing “Queremos pastel, pastel, pastel!” (“We want cake, cake, cake!”)

I see red but I can be convinced it’s pink under different lighting or angles

God, I hate this country.

beyond embarrassing people still support this asshole

We as gay people need to make sure she is never forgotten! 😞

😍😍😍😍😍

Everyone in both these categories turned in bangers but that said I hope Delroy and Amy get their flowers. Long overdue.

This movie now has 3 Oscar nominees (and the partner of a filmmaker who has 14 nominations without a win) #oscars

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

Last night I moved a couch to the guest room and started decorating for Christmas. All lights on the tree. (I’ll add ornaments later.) The star is a holiday disco ball!

What if for my next writing project I listen to and write about every album that won the Grammy Award for Album of the Year? I will revisit some stellar classics like Rumours & Tapestry, the Stevie Wonder trio that dominated the 70s as well as soundtracks, live albums and much more.

Will you follow me and be our friend? My name is Westley. I'm a one year old lakeland terrier. Please follow us and repost.🫶🐾🐶🍁🍂 #dogsofbsky #dogs #dogsofbluesky

It’s been a year to the day we bought (and then didn’t, for reasons we still don’t fully know) InfoWars. We’re still trying. In the year since, we built The Onion into one of the biggest newspapers in the United States. I’m so proud of this place. I’m proud we do hard stuff. Thank you for caring.

No. Ten minutes is plenty. Enough time to keep his 1921 Ford Model T running in the parking lot.

According to Allura and Co. that left tit is the property of RAYE. She will send someone to collect it after the next Tiddy Tuesday/Thursday.

Quote with a 10/10 album

Rep. Yassamin Ansari has set up a table and this sign outside Speaker Johnson’s office.

My Halloween costume last week. I’m not ready to put away the suit yet. #zohran #mamdani

this is a reminder that we dont have to settle for newsom in 2028

Because he is perfect. No notes. Where is his Honorary Oscar?

BREAKING: Zohran Mamdani wins the New York City mayoral race, NBC News projects. nbcnews.to/4nIzNUC

The Onion: ICE Agent, 7-Year-Old Both Wearing Same ‘Military Commando’ Halloween Costume

theonion.com/ice-agent-7-...

If you see this, quote with a robot that isn't from "Star Wars," "Star Trek," "Doctor Who," or "Transformers." 🤖✨

TRANS LIVES MATTER!!! 🏳‍⚧️🌈🏳‍⚧️🌈🖖❤️💪🔥🎉✨💜💙💟🙌👏🏽🏳‍⚧️🔪🌟

It’s Monday morning again 🥲

I hate gay Halloween like what the fuck do you mean you’re the off-beat staircase dancer from the first 30 seconds of Chicago icon Jan Terri’s 1994 music video Get Down Goblin

OMFG I am now obsessed with this song and video!

What I don't have in experience, I make up for in integrity.

And what Andrew Cuomo lacks in integrity, he could never make up for with experience.