maug

i say to two figures on a couch "brb guys!!" i leave the room one of the couch people says to the other "why the fuck is she pretending to be a person" "like am i crazy or is that not just a mannequin pantomiming human behavior"

A fabricated statement from Nintendo of America's Twitter account addressing a fictitious scenario in which the Earth's oxygen supply is presumed to be depleting at a rapid pace, leaving humanity with mere days to live. "This is Miyamoto. On behalf of everyone who is employed at Nintendo Co. LTD and its subsidiaries, we deeply mourn the countless human lives which will be lost due to the depletion of the global oxygen supply. To anyone who has ever played one of our games, we are eternally grateful to have created long-lasting fun and memories for you. To ease the suffering of families and children across the world, the Mario Kart World game for the Nintendo Switch 2 system will be available as a free download on Nintendo eShop for the foreseeable future. We hope this small gesture of kindness will ease the pain as humanity prepares for a worst-case scenario." The statement is distastefully plastered with logos for Nintendo and Nintendo Switch 2, as well as with a render of Mario from Mario Kart World.

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. John Default Profile Picture: "No one read this statement and thought it was distasteful? Why did Miyamoto think this would help anyone?" NintenDeen: "Simple: Nintendo is so depraved that they'd exploit a global crisis to boost the player count of the failed Mario Kart World and force consumers back into the Switch 2 ecosystem to boost sales and player numbers."

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. PlayStation Nation: "What the fuck are you doing falsely advertising sales during these trying times? I went to the website and Mario Kart World is still selling for $80 USD." Kremling Kevin: "If you actually read the statement, it clearly says the discount is available on Nintendo eShop. Meaning the application on the Switch 2 itself, not the web browser version." PlayStation Nation: "Point still stands."

A fabricated Tweet responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. Isaboner: "Nothing for Switch 1 owners?"

Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not

All images of anthony bourdain need to be clearly labeled now.

Fucker Bowl

boys are a type of food that you're supposed to play with before you eat

🥚
#DELTARUNE #miikart

oh get over yourself, you're just wifeslop. she only likes u because she can picture herself spending the rest of her life with u

any time a queer has something along the lines of "chaotic" "gremlin/goblin" and/or "be gay do crime" in their bio, i know not to interact with them or take anything they say seriously. this has never steered me wrong.

I think one of the weirder emotions to deal with w/ transitioning is that you lift the veil of dysphoria, which in my case was deep enough to induce a lot of suicidal thoughts, and like. I don't wanna die now. Which means I can Be Terrified Of Death. I can feel the weight of wasted years.

height dysphoria metaphor

this Geordie Greep guy has some good ideas. id put money behind the Museum of Human Suffering

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.

1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.

2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

when i have 59000009 dollars itll be over for all of you

googby

goobi

Superhuman Safety Squad #2 (1/2)

!!

Red Cabbage

the great firewall of china is there to protect us from having to stare into the sun of chinese posting. the few things we get to see are reflected through pinholes or viewed through a welder's helmet like an eclipse

They hated Jesus because she spoke the truth.

Art is meant to disturb the chili and chili the disturbed.

baby cow !!!!!! it’s brown !!!! and fuzzy!!! running through a clover field !!!!! it’s so cute !!!!

guys …… shhh ….. it’s okay …..

I LOVE BEING A TRANNY FAGGOT WOMAN, I LOVE HAVING SEX WHILE I'M UNDER 25Y/O (PROBLEMATIC BTW) I LOVE USING PRONOUNS AS CRYPTOSLURS. I LOVE MAKING MY IDENTITY A POLITICAL STATEMENT FOR TENDIES TO MISOGYNISTICALLY DEBATE OVER BUT WOKELY

just went to the dentist. they asked me if i suck a lot of dick and when i said no they said yeah we can tell loser

Check out my awesome creature

…. sigh

boob for the boob god

flug running to grab a delicious green apple, unknowingly carrying milly who has the apple tied on a stick to steer flug