liquid butterflies

how insulting is it to be offered up as some involuntary mammy? sending anger and pure, dark malice towards their abode.

Maybe I've been internalizing the history of our society too much. He's just a person. I'm just a person. But every time I see a black person on screen be reduced to perfection, I feel a personal need to speak out to help people acknowledge their imperfection--their humanity.

The fact that I exist in at least one person's mind as an unfailingly understanding, selfless, nothing girl is highly unsettling and quite angering to me. I wish they knew that my kindness wasn't a dime a dozen, can't be offered up to anyone in need of a lover bandage to tend to their old wounds

I find no joy in the idea of being a black person who just exists as a temporary relief to white people that aren't finished figuring themselves out yet. I wish I hadnt acted as their safe harbor at my own expense. they didnt love me enough to deserve it.

unfortunately I have problems with ever being helpful to a white person again in the context of a relationship bc after breaking up with one, I checked his twt and he said "saw my ex on the apps,shout out to her she'll take care of you" like no way I just disposable black girlfriended myself🫠