Silva Neves

It was fantastic meeting David Ley in London!

His book “The Myth of Sex Addiction” was pivotal in transforming my career to what it is now.

And what great timing to meet in the week of the publication of the Sexual and Relationship Therapy journal position statement on “sex/porn addiction”. 💜

The gonorrhea vaccine is now available on the NHS. Go and get it for extra protection.

It was lovely to catch up with friend and colleague Ben Kaye.
He does such amazing work in the Chems@x scene. ❤️🏳️‍🌈

Working collaboratively is key to making real important change. We never stop learning from each other.

I wish everyone a fabulous Friday! ❤️🌈

It’s always a pleasure to offer clinical supervision to an international group of therapists for IOSS. The topic today was problematic porn use. We had very interesting in-depth conversations! 💚

Find A Therapist A list of hand-picked specialists in Compulsive Sexual Behaviours trained by Silva Neves and CICS

You can choose a sex-positive therapist from this website:
www.sexpositivityuk.com/compulsive-s...

Find A Therapist A list of hand-picked specialists in Compulsive Sexual Behaviours trained by Silva Neves and CICS

A genuinely sex-positive therapist will not collude with the fake narrative of “porn addiction” but will help you with the underlying emotional issues. And then, you could still enjoy watching porn, within full awareness, and as part of a balanced life.

Find A Therapist A list of hand-picked specialists in Compulsive Sexual Behaviours trained by Silva Neves and CICS

People who have emotional struggles might watch porn compulsively to soothe their pain. And some might eat food compulsively for the same reasons. It is not an addiction, it is a coping strategy.

“Porn addiction” is not clinically endorsed. The body of scientific research actually hasn’t found any causation of mental health or sexual health issues. But there are correlations.

COVID-19 jab done! ✅
It’s expensive but worth it, I think.

Flu jab on Monday, COVID today. It’s a jabby week this week! 😁

Statement from the journal of sexual and relationship therapy: international perspectives on theory, research, and practice on ‘sex addiction,’ ‘pornography addiction’, out-of-control-sexual-behaviour... Published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy (Ahead of Print, 2025)

The journal's editorial is open access, please share widely! 💜

www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10....

Statement from the journal of sexual and relationship therapy: international perspectives on theory, research, and practice on ‘sex addiction,’ ‘pornography addiction’, out-of-control-sexual-behaviour... Published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy (Ahead of Print, 2025)

This is a major step forward in our profession in protecting the public from harmful "sex/porn addiction" concepts and treatments, and we are elevating the field academically by promoting better scholarly standards for research.

I'm very proud of the work we have done!

Statement from the journal of sexual and relationship therapy: international perspectives on theory, research, and practice on ‘sex addiction,’ ‘pornography addiction’, out-of-control-sexual-behaviour... Published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy (Ahead of Print, 2025)

We argue that concepts and treatments of "sex/porn addiction" should not be used because they are not evidence-based and not endorsed scientifically. Instead we need to use sex-positive, ethical, and anti-oppressive concepts and methods in line with sexological recommendations.

Statement from the journal of sexual and relationship therapy: international perspectives on theory, research, and practice on ‘sex addiction,’ ‘pornography addiction’, out-of-control-sexual-behaviour... Published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy (Ahead of Print, 2025)

Great news!

I'm delighted to share the Sexual and Relationship Therapy journal position statement on "sex/porn addiction", supported by clinicians around the world.

www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10....

Find A Therapist A list of hand-picked specialists in Compulsive Sexual Behaviours trained by Silva Neves and CICS

It is important to choose a genuine sex-positive therapist. You can find a list on this website:
www.sexpositivityuk.com/compulsive-s...

Find A Therapist A list of hand-picked specialists in Compulsive Sexual Behaviours trained by Silva Neves and CICS

“Porn-related distress” is a much more accurate term because we can have a broader picture of where the distress actually is, and it helps us offer a space for the person who is distressed by their partner’s porn watching.

The term “problematic porn use” (PPU) is commonly used by clinicians but it carries the bias that the problem with porn always lies with the person watching it.
However, often, the distress is felt by the partner of the person watching porn, not the person watching it.

Flu jab done today ✅

Happy Halloween! 🎃

It is a time believed to be when the boundary between physical world and the spiritual is thinnest. 👻

How are you celebrating Halloween?

If you want a short queer read on Halloween, here’s my Psychology Today blog! 🎃👻💀🏳️‍🌈

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talk...

I’m back at the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes for a live webinar on working with compulsive sexual behaviours on Saturday 17th January at 9am (EST)/ 2pm (GMT).

Come and join us! 🇺🇸🇬🇧💜🌈

modernsextherapyinstitutes.com/product/work...

PS: my biggest fear is not clowns. I just thought it was a fun filter! 🤡

We often avoid our deepest fear because it is unsettling. But if we allow ourselves to meet it and examine it, we might discover an important meaning behind it.

Often, the biggest fear we avoid influence how we live and decisions we make more than we think. So, it’s worth getting to know it. 🎃

It is Halloween week! 🎃👻💀

Although Halloween itself is about honouring the dead, the Halloween week is filled with horror movies and scary things in shops.

It is a good opportunity to ask ourselves: what is our biggest fear?

I’m not concerned about therapists being in therapy. I worry more about therapists who believe they never need therapy.

We never stop exploring, processing and making meaning of life, because… we’re alive.

In fact, I think it is essential for therapists to have such a space to process, in clinical supervision and in therapy.

I can process my own personal things in therapy, and be fully present for my clients, helping them with their own processing.

Therapy is not only for people with serious mental health issues, it is a space to meet ourselves, to explore the meaning of significant events in life.

We need to challenge the myth of “being sorted” because the reality is that all of us, therapists and clients, are all humans, with flaws, with strengths, navigating life the best we can.

It is strange that there is a stigma and shame about therapists being in therapy. There is an assumption that the therapist is “fucked up” or not “sorted” enough.

It’s a space that is just for me. It is a great self-care time, alongside other self-care activities such as resting, being with friends, walk in nature, etc.

Therapists in therapy. It seems to be taboo. Why?

I’m in therapy. There, I said it!

I resumed therapy seven months ago, not long after my mother died.
This time, I chose an integrative and existential therapist.