You're a fucking rockstar and don't let anyone ever say you aren't....even if it's your own head being mean to you

It is awe-inspiring the way you are always flawless every single time

Just gave my inner child a lightsaber

Need her to put these on and stroke me silly

No matter how quixotic your dreams are, don't ever let them go

Keep your spirit hot, but your mind cool

Feeling very wistful lately, but for what I don't know

If you get good grades in school they'll just let you raw dog adhd for the rest of your life

Again I say, I need a YAPPER. A loquacious lass who loves to infodump and talk my ear off while I stare at her lovingly

Please don't interrupt my floor time

(Flirting) My maternal grandfather had a full head of hair

Costco, Arizona, Ben & Jerry's, Little Ceasars. That's it.

She's bouncing on it in a way that's depleting my life points.

Goodnight to everyone except those of you who squirt ketchup all over your fries like unholy heathens instead of putting it on the side

Whichever woman has my voodoo doll, I need you to spit in its mouth

If i stopped taking my meds I wouldn’t tell anyone but there would be signs

The more things change, the more they stay the same

People who say "No pun intended" are cowards. Intend your puns, you scaredy-cat.

Everyone hurry over! Queen Looby has arrived!!

Next time someone quotes a scripture to me, I'm quoting an anime back at them

I need a yapper. A truly garrulous girl who infodumps 24/7 while I listen intently

(Looking her right in her eyes as I slowly slide it in) This tray of sugar cookies should bake in the oven for about 12 minutes

"Sir that's your 4th basket of breadsticks." I know what I'm about son. Keep em coming.

As a poet once said, "Her thighs make the pain go away. Call that Thighlenol."

Life is hard, but I'm tweaking even harder.

"What's really wrong with you?" Life is far too short for us to cover that topic

If I have to go through any more character development, I'm giving up, and then my character can develop into a corpse

If silliness is a sin, I'll see you in hell

"How are you doing?" I'm tired and stupid. Please leave me alone to rot