PJ Nelsen

A calm body is a privilege not everyone can afford.

But no one owns regulation. It lives through us.
The roots of resistance? Co-regulation.
How do you practice together?

I find myself

judging someone again.

Jaw tight. Chest heavy.

I stop. I breathe.

They breathe.

Just like me.

Perhaps longing

For safety.

Belonging.

Love.

Breathing softens

my shoulders. Opening.

Who might you imagine

as human

breathing beside you

in this moment?

You don’t need to have all the answers.

One real attempt to listen is enough to start.
What in your life is longing to be heard?

Every day. Words.
Violence. Suffering.

Not my values. And

I long for shared humanity.
I want to breathe beyond judgment.

Today, I stand within the tension.

Didn't trust the people in the room today.

My body knew before my brain did.
Then I caught it: THIS is fawning.

Old dance. Subtle energy shift.
Make them comfortable.

Then I heard an accusation and just

Let it hang there

No fixing. No defense.
Waiting. Silence.

What’s here instead?

I’m tired.

I long for authenticity.

Not virality. Not hacks.

Just presence.

That’s enough.

PJ Nelsen (@pjnelsen) The emotional freeze out stopped me. My Judgement: You should know better. Finding compassion: That made sense to you. You were taking care of yourself, even though it impacted me. I’m now leaning ...

The emotional freeze out stopped me.

Judgement: You should know better.

Finding compassion: You were taking care of yourself, even though it impacted me.

I’m holding a boundary out of compassionate awareness to support us both.

Feeling both truths: compassion. Boundary. Both breathe in me.

10 years old, riding in a friend’s dad’s car.

“Oh…You’re that sneaky trailer trash kid.” Green dashboard lights of the Lincoln Continental. Leather seats. Smothering.

Today: one line in a conversation. Implied class shame.

Disappear. Fight.

Breathing. Connecting inside to stay.

Michelangelo said every block of stone has a statue hidden inside.

Hard conversations are like that:

Beneath, something vital wants to emerge.

For me? I usually find a longing to be understood.

And for you? What’s waiting?

What do you wish people understood about how to listen to you? To deeply listen?

Dirty running sneakers

Six miles.

Stress freezes me. I’ve been frozen for months.

Shoes on the trail. Breath deepening.

Six miles later. Not stuck.

The most challenging part of listening within a disagreement is…

Sticks and stones… words not hurting?

Nawwww… Words can hurt.

“You’re disrespecting me.”

Ouch. Those landed hard this morning.

Breathing in. Connecting to listen without getting hooked… and to find curiosity:

“What would you like me to understand?”

Blood pressure spike after reading the email. Heart racing.

Internal chatter roaring in my head. Frustration. Judgement.

(This just after 40 mins of meditation)

Breathing again.
Lengthening the exhale.

Who do I want to be in this moment?

The following quote is the single resource that most helps me remember to listen with empathy.

Today’s challenge: Disprove it. (I keep trying, and for me, it still works. Every time.)

Three spotted fawns turned as I ran toward them in the morning fog. Dirt road. Wet trees. Deer eyes.

I keep waiting for the all knowing adult to arrive.

For now, just me.

One step. Another. Breathing.

Killing inner demons, hugging my inner kid, still answering ‘Not much, you?

Yesterday I spoke with integrity in an unsafe group by listening to my inner voice.

Today:

I celebrate connecting to truth.
I mourn moments I reacted instead of connecting.

Inner request:

Keep listening. Connecting. Breathing. Show up. Please.

Little sleep. Inner fog. Anxious.

Breathing in.
Breathing out.

Integrity.

In conflict my body goes quiet.
Numb. For years that meant hide.

I’m here to stop hiding.