Em Splem

This is a rubbish, click-bait headline, which is a shame because the article itself is a really interesting interview with Emin.

a met office advertisement with a cartoon cloud and sun Alt: A met office advertisement with a cartoon cloud and sun

The word of the day is "Apricity" - the warmth of the sun on a cold winter’s day ☀️

Enjoy the sunshine forecast today 😎

Those TV programmes where they show people from China etc being stopped from bringing food stuffs into Australia: how many Scots are whistling happily as they stroll past with their plain loaf and Lorne sausage and haggis and black pudding in their carry-on?

Feeling oddly smug in the 100% belief that I totally could do this job.

A photo of two terracotta plant pots on a wall both with green fronds of crocuses but lots and lots of small mushrooms sprouting out and no flowers.

When you plant crocuses and life gives you mushrooms.

@mirandakeeling.com

On a recent visit to my parents house

81yo Mum: What's this A1 thing they keep going on about?

87yo Dad: It's not A1, it's AI.

Mum: Where did you learn that?

Dad: We used to have it when I worked on a farm. The vet used to administer it

Dodgy, dodgy foreign donations to Reform laundered through dummy British-owned companies.
Non-paywall full article:
archive.ph/DPzO1

They did a sterling job at the end of a night shift, moving huge amounts of patients and thereafter dealing with them in corridors etc.

But apparently I don’t get any thanks for jokes about what the bed manager would say tomorrow.

Homicides at lowest level in nearly 50 years, ONS statistics show The 499 homicide cases in the year to September were the lowest in England and Wales since 1977.

Let's hope this positive news gets as much attention as the people who try to convince us that the UK is a murder ravaged hellscape.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

It really is an awful human urge to publicise the thing that annoys you, and these arseholes know it.

Hah! I always forget that she gets called Queen now. Thank you.

Val McDermid was assigned ‘sensitivity reader’ to cut offensive language from old books Author discusses changes made to Lindsay Gordon novels from 80s and 90s to prepare for their rerelease

Apparently, Val McDermid is convening with the dead:
"The writer, who is also a national year of reading ambassador, met the Queen on Monday during the launch of a reading initiative at the National Library of Scotland in Edinburgh."

2024: can Europe defend itself ALONGSIDE America?

2025: can Europe defend itself WITHOUT America?

2026: can Europe defend itself AGAINST America?

"And we now have María on the line who would like to swap a Nobel Peace Prize for the presidency of Venezuela..."

Rescued a week apart. Orphaned for the same tragic reason – their mothers fell off cliffs.

Tytan the rhino and Notty the zebra have been healing together ever since. An unlikely pair who completed each other's family.

sheldrickwildlifetrust.org/o...

The Internet cable whilst my husband was in the middle of an important Teams meeting.

Every year it’s noticeably weird. It’d be fascinating to watch them being coached by this shadowy figure who, I sometimes imagine, speaks like that in real life.

on the tramway in Nantes and a pretty old woman gave her seat to a very old woman so I gave my seat to the pretty old woman then a man gave me his seat then a teenager gave a man his seat and then we all laughed, aren't people fantastic

I've got to be honest, we may as well call it a night #DuvetKnowItsChristmas

Mince pies, naartjies and Carols from King’s: it’s Christmastime.

Michelle Mone-linked PPE firm liquidated and unlikely to repay £148m The firm led by Baroness Mone's husband Douglas Barrowman breached a contract to supply surgical gowns during the Covid pandemic.

"PPE Medpro filed for administration in September, a day before the order to pay."

Oh my goodness, what an incredible surprise.

This morning’s nature watch:

A hedgehog, casually ambling along the pavement in front of us, like it had nary a care in the world.

A caterpillar dropped out of the turn-up of my jeans, where it must have hitched a ride when we walked through the long grass.

City living!

For the kind of people who say Shakespeare would be better without the words.

Finally got it to work…and then today got a failed payment notice from them. FFS.

Every time I see people move out of the way for an ambulance to get through, I get a little lump in my throat. That’s society. Lots of people doing the right thing for a stranger.

In the midst of Christmas shopping hell, the Zara website once again stands out as an absolute beacon of style over useability.

And if that’s not a metaphor, I don’t know what is.

He should have tied a knot in it long before he got to 24!

If handing someone their arse, was a video clip

They clearly knew I wasn’t going to share.

I once walked out of a chip shop in Brighton and a seagull dive-bombed and shat directly on said chips.