Christopher Nicolas

I don't care who you are, Wendy's chicken nuggets are the best. The slightest wiff, gets me all tingly inside.

A fun game I've started playing every holiday season is keeping track how many times I hear Mariah vs Paul McCartney's Christmas song. I think I should include NSYNC next year maybe.

Current daily montra:
Everything's going to be fine.
If not, you had a good run.

Nothing annoys me more than when I'm out shopping somewhere and someone asks me if I work there. Like I get it. I have resting retail employee face, but stop talking to me

Why was the cow nervous for their final grade?
There was a lot at Steak.

A goat in a coat with a tote eating oats on a boat that floats in a moat passed a note with a quote that it wrote. Vote.

The Karaoke Scene Report Karaoke Log: Week of September 8th, 2025

This is the first of what will be a weekly newsletter about karaoke as I go through my weekly spots! Hopefully it can outline why I love karaoke the way I do!

open.substack.com/pub/thechris...

What do you call a marshmallow that helps deliver babies?
Doula Peep.

What do you call fake baked goods on a film set?
Prop-tarts.

What do you call a book about cats and ancient Japanese magic?
ねこnomicon.
(Neko-nomicon)

Where do outcasts get their poultry?
In Eggs-isle.

What do you call it when you're sad in the Bahamas?
A tropical depression.

What does an indecisive genie use to clean his clothes?
A wishy-washing machine.

What kind of surf does the sun like to ride?
The heat waves.

What is Sisyphus’s least favorite kind of drink at a bar?
Anything on the rocks.

Repetition is the key to learning

What's a pig's favorite musical?
Ham-ilton.

What do you call a mattress that's been bitten by a zombie?
The walking bed.

Interviewer: In a few words, describe yourself?
Me:

For the month of July, I've decided to try and write my first feature. Here's to a productive month!

What do you do when they stop carrying your favorite brand of shampoo and conditioner?
You make a sudstitution.

What do you call a tasty bear in Spanish?
Delici-Oso.

Near, far, wherever Jafarrr!

A few thoughts on today

LA literally said, Surprise rain! ☔🌧️

You know what'd be really cool, if they released the Batgirl movie.

How do sandwiches get to work?
The Sub-way.

Overhead in the Sprouts parking lot: "Bread and Brieeeeeee! That's some gourmet shit right there"

What type of corn does Ozzy Osborne like?
Crazy Corn.

What is Gwen Stefani’s favorite type of noodles?
Shella Good.