heuercopter

“Why are you such a wet blanket?!? USA USA USA!”

“Well friend, everything is dry as heck here and I’d rather not have my neighbors dead pine trees become suddenly my problem.”

Independence Day (and most of July) at this point is pretty much hoping your neighbors or people driving around you don’t do anything stupid that affects you.

What’s even more wild is looking at the bottom two sub headlines

I enjoyed my race viewing experience this morning! Max with perhaps an all time move on the opening lap and Ferrari having a nice recovery after a disaster Saturday. #F1 #Imola

Whomever said “home ownership is the American dream” most likely did not have to deal with a crabby backyard stairwell drain that clogs up whenever you forget to offer sacrifice to it.

a man in a suit and tie is talking to another man in an office and saying ayyyyyy . ALT: a man in a suit and tie is talking to another man in an office and saying ayyyyyy .

When you get to have a conversation with your building’s union reps about your admin’s mess ups

You know it’s going to get real when the drums start #TheWhiteLotus

a close up of a man 's face looking at a woman . ALT: a close up of a man 's face looking at a woman .

Me searching the far reaches of my house for matches to light a scented candle and instead finding a bunch of unopened THC edibles I forgot about:

Being a fan of a hard luck sports team means that there will be a lot of suffering but when the do well, there’s no other high like it #OhWhenTheBlues

film still #71

after band played happy birthday for Adam.

#severance

I one day hope to have the same amount of courage and lack of perception of the lady who decided that a hill was good point to overtake a garbage truck.

Unrelated, I need a new pair of underwear now.

#severance is renewed for Season 3.

#PraiseKier and Tim Cook.

film still #67

Choreography & Merriment

a marching band is walking through a field carrying drums and a banner that says party time . ALT: a marching band is walking through a field carrying drums and a banner that says party time .

The Lumon Choreography and Merriment Department showing up to their next retreat:

#Severance

Every normal person who hosts something at their house almost always thinks “Why’d I do this?”

There are days where I love my job. There are days where I tolerate my job. There are days where I don’t particularly care for my job.

There are also days my job makes me think “ya know, I understand and emphasize with why Anakin Skywalker took down the Jedi Order”

i am sick of “more monkeys jumping on the bed” discourse. it’s as though these people have no memory of 2017 when one fell off and bumped his head. doctor spoke out against it, mama endorsed doctor’s findings. i’m limiting replies to followers because i do not have the energy for YMMJOTBers today

I don't get how Dracula and Frankenstein have time to make cereal in between terrorizing the villagers

I’m regretting that second beer this morning.

“Marshmallows are for team players. They just don’t hand them out.” Might be one my favorite random lines of all time. #Severance

a man in a gray shirt is standing in a kitchen cooking ALT: a man in a gray shirt is standing in a kitchen cooking

Me cooking the frozen Mac n cheese and chicken meal that’s been there since last parent teacher conferences and adding anything that sounds good:

There are no rules when I get home from Parent Teacher Conferences. Like everything in the fridge is on the table from the thing of Swiss cheese I bought to the frozen meal I bought a couple of months ago

Everyone hits a point in their job where they look around and think “Well I guess I’m in charge of this now and this is my responsibility”

a picture of a robot with the caption this will make a fine addition to my collection ALT: a picture of a robot with the caption this will make a fine addition to my collection

Me seeing another email and saying “ya know what, that can wait till tomorrow morning”

“Apple TV+ might be the *best* streaming service out there right now”

OK, fine, Jordan Binnington can go and fake like he wants to fight one guy, as a treat.

a group of people are sitting in a dark room with their hands on their faces . ALT: a group of people are sitting in a dark room with their hands on their faces .

When the mammals make a cameo in a Dinosaur documentary:

The midwesterner in me had me IMMEDIATELY looking outside the moment that I heard thunder.

“Do you gamble?”

“Well I occasionally do my laundry after 6pm so yes”

Coworker: You sound horrible

Me: Actually this is the best I’ve felt all week