@vikkibitsyspider.bsky.social
“Way too horny” and “bewildering.”
Promotional poster for MTVs 2003 Wuthering Heights movie.
People saying the new Wuthering Heights movie is the worst adaptation ever like this shit never happened
19.02.2026 16:03 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Boyfriend: It wasn’t a sandwich…it was a hamburger.
Me: A burger IS a sandwich, HAVEN’T YOU READ MY MANIFESTO?!?
@culinarygeekroy.bsky.social
Nutrition information for a bag of Haribo gummy candies that lists “2 TBSP” as the serving size.
Someone at Haribo is drunk because what TF does two tablespoons of gummies look like?
10.12.2025 22:17 — 👍 6 🔁 1 💬 2 📌 1They did fit a whole discman back in the day
06.12.2025 22:31 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Mudd jeans and Jincos, I presume.
06.12.2025 21:55 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0I saw a negative eBay review for a lot of vintage clothing that said, “Not true vintage. All early 2000s,” and I was just like, “Oh, honey…”
06.12.2025 20:39 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0The vibe I’m bringing to the holiday party. 🎄
01.12.2024 15:52 — 👍 0 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0I hope Gen Z kills Teams.
04.12.2025 14:30 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0That cancelled TV show you'll never stop thinking about
04.12.2025 02:07 — 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Idk if this is the quintessential Onion headline but I've thought of this at least once a week for almost a decade
03.12.2025 17:14 — 👍 3656 🔁 916 💬 39 📌 44Every day I have to hear about some asshole
28.02.2025 12:25 — 👍 13771 🔁 2709 💬 204 📌 88The lease for my last apartment literally said “no unauthorized holes.” (2/2)
21.10.2025 22:14 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I just think the White House should have the same rules as an apartment lease. The (TEMPORARY) residents can decorate the inside, but you’re gonna incur some penalties if you start tearing down the walls. (1/2)
21.10.2025 22:14 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0This makes me so happy
17.08.2025 01:00 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Oooo, I didn’t know that.
Samantha Jones would gleefully bang as many aliens as Kirk.
There’s real crossover potential here.
16.08.2025 21:16 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0The only thing I learned from three seasons of And Just Like That is that the writers absolutely ~~hate~~ The Youths.
Everyone under 30 was (deliberately??) written to be at best annoying and at worst deeply unpleasant.
A post-it that says, “Gone to Scranton. Back later.” Carrie Bradshaw’s reflection is out of focus behind it.
All men who fuck up should self-exile to Scranton.
27.07.2025 21:51 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
My tribute
22.07.2025 20:41 — 👍 1085 🔁 285 💬 18 📌 3The business card scene from American Psycho, only it’s me and all the other RAV4 owners in the Costco parking lot.
14.05.2025 23:32 — 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
Large cardboard box that says, “Please unpack carefully. I am afraid of pain.”
This box has the same approach to therapy that I do.
08.05.2025 03:01 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Bill Hader as Stefon on SNL with a headline saying, “Pope’s Last Day: Mass, Blessing, Vance Visit.”
21.04.2025 22:53 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0JD Vance: I just wish the internet associated me with something other than the couch rumors.
[Monkey’s paw ominously curls one finger.]
Me: Can we take a picture with the team furry?
Friend who enjoys sports: Please don’t refer to the mascot that way.
my maniacal laughter can be heard from space
10.04.2025 15:00 — 👍 124 🔁 33 💬 2 📌 0Oh, thank god, because those tariffs on China are about to make vibrators much more expensive.
10.04.2025 21:40 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I can no longer tell if I'm holding up surprisingly well right now because I did all of my grieving for the future back in 2024 or if I have just reached a state of emergency dissociation so extreme that I will not be feeling my feelings until 2026.
08.04.2025 19:56 — 👍 1437 🔁 207 💬 49 📌 40
You know things are bad when the dealership is like, “Heeeyyyy, bestie! If you want a car you’d better buy one now before we’re all out of car and Daddy VW refuses to send us more car!”
(Bless their hearts for assuming anyone’s buying an AUDI in this economy.)
At least the TV price is about to go up 20-50%.
That’s…something.
