Matt Manser

Neil Young has given his entire music catalog to everyone in Greenland. Now Greenland can fight off Trump's advances by unleashing a barrage of one-note guitar solos.

Rob Schneider's wife has filed for divorce after 15 years. Even more shocking, during the current millennium, someone married Rob Schneider.

Oxford Dictionary announed that its 2025 Word of the Year is “rage bait." They added, "If you think that's a bad choice, tell us why we're wrong, losers!"

Reminder - today, all turkey-flavored candy is marked down 50%!

I hope the Rapture comes today. I can't wait to be in the Man from Mars and go out at night eating cars.

Former Chicago lead singer Peter Cetera turned 81 on Saturday. His birthday party was held today, at either 3:35 or 3:34. (Nobody really knows what time it is.)

Kevin Bacon turns 67 today. 67 is also the 19th prime number, 19 is the drinking age in Canada, which was the birthplace of John Candy, who was in Planes, Trains & Automobiles with Kevin Bacon.

I once saw Soul Asylum at The Troubadour, when in the audience I saw a familiar face. It was George Wendt. (He was also in the video for their song "Black Gold.") (This is my only George Wendt story, but I think it's pretty cool.)

Netflix has made a streaming with Sesame Street. One character is particularly excited about the deal, because using Netflix means you have to accept cookies.

Morrissey is relaunching his U.S. tour after severe sinusitis caused him to cancel shows. Morrissey is looking forward to entertaining fans with even more reasons to cancel shows.

And with a single earthquake, Sean Baker dropped all his Oscars.

TikTok praising Trump for pausing the ban feels like Tiny Tim calling Scrooge "the founder of the feast."

Carrie Underwood will perform at Donald Trump's inauguration. Underwood will sing an updated version of "Before He Cheats," called "Actually He Can Cheat All He Wants And I'll Look The Other Way."

Dick Van Dyke turns 99 today. He credits his long life to having a home that contains zero ottomans.

Dionne Warwick turns 84 today. Her birthday wish, once again, is for someone to tell her the way to San Jose.

Jakob Dylan of The Wallflowers turned 55 yesterday. His birthday wish is for someone to finally fix his other headlight.

Woody Allen turned 89 last weekend. Friends at his birthday party didn't watch him blow out the candles on his birthday cake, because they're used to looking the other way.

Yesterday, KISS marked the first anniversary of their final concert. They're celebrating with the KISS Final Concert Anniversary World Tour.

Billy Idol turned 69 on Saturday. He was only going to have one slice of birthday cake, but then in the midnight hour he cried for more, more, more.

Natasha Bedingfield turns 43 today. She was supposed to get a cake that said "Happy Birthday," but instead it was unwritten.

Meg Ryan turned 63 yesterday. All her friends got to have a slice of her birthday cake, because they had what she was having.

Martin Scorsese turned 82 on Sunday. Fans celebrated by wishing happy birthday to Eugene Levy.

Chad Kroeger of Nickelback turned 50 yesterday. So if you forgot his birthday, this is how I remind you.

The 2025 Oscars will be hosted by Conan O'Brien. But after the first hour, it will then be hosted by Jay Leno.

Infowars has been purchased by The Onion. Which means the content on Infowars will now be slightly more plausible.

Oasis is reuniting for an upcoming tour. While on the road, the band will bring a calculator to finally determine how many special people change, and how many lives are living strange.

Elvis Costello turned 70 yesterday. His friends tried to sing him "Happy Birthday," but he cut them off so he could sing "Radio, Radio."

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. announced he is supporting Donald Trump. In related news, Trump announced he's dropping J.D. Vance from the ticket, and replacing him with Kennedy's brain worm.

Roland Orzabal of Tears for Fears turns 62 today. He's glad to finally reach the day he feels good: happy birthday, happy birthday.

Robert Plant turned 76 yesterday. He's having his birthday party tonight, but if you don't feel like it, you don't have to go-oh-oh-oh-oh.