Paul Danke

YouTube video by paul danke The Dolphins Have S@x For Fun

For real they do

youtu.be/PacEd8-8vhc?...

ralph from the simpsons is waving in front of a row of lockers . ALT: ralph from the simpsons is waving in front of a row of lockers .

Put tariffs on boogers

Just told my wife, under no circumstances can they livestream my funeral. I don’t want people running to the damn microwave during the MANY eulogies.

Sorry guys, I can’t follow any more celebrities on IG, I’m sticking with just Nicki Minaj. I don’t have space for anyone else.

Getting ready for some long sets this weekend and working out joke order has got my brain 😵‍💫🔫

Senseless nightmare with no end in sight

The bots are getting less funny, and I get it, they’re jaded, they haven’t written a new troll in years, they’re just coasting on the old act and wondering if they just let it all pass them by. They’re looking at graduate programs and thinking about moving home.

It’s the “oh did I say that?” Presidency

Hold out for the platinum card oligarchs. Much better perks, you can actually buy a national monument.

It’s definitely home, but damn

I always tell people when they move to LA, don’t get attached to any of this, not the restaurants, not the bars, not the hiking spots, none of it. And don’t take a personality test. You’re probably fine

Picking the phone alarm chime is the single most important decision in character development.

If you are struggling in the entertainment industry, DO NOT watch Nightmare Alley right now!!

Google maps also tries to get you to make the most fucked up left turns across traffic, google maps doesn’t “get” directions.

The kids are alright

Bad new for Kanye, all this bizarre behavior and my 8th grade kid said NOBODY was talking about it. You lost the middle schoolers my guy. You’re cooked

Kendrick “the boot cut killa” Lamar

Thanks to Kendrick I won’t have a voice for another three weeks.

Thank you stairs!

Do you know how hard it is to pick a fight with a Canadian? I grew up within a half hour of White Rock Canada, drinking age 19 and I never ever once got into a fight. I did have a guy once offer me his jacket because I looked like Eddie Furlong.

Like a Bond villain realizing the blood all over his stomach/face/hands is his own

This moron is trying to make even more Walking Dead spinoffs happen and babe we are over it

If you are in LA and you don’t have something in your eye right now, look again, YES YOU DO!

News feed on this app sucks.

Yacht Rock isn’t a “new” music genre that became cool decades later, it’s called Easy Listening and has been popular on the radio the entire time.

If you have sex tonight you are disgusting.

I too would like to sue someone for my album not getting played enough but so far the big play boys are the drakes.

Kendrick doing so so much for the condiment industry.

The wrestling lady as head of dept of education? This is like making the head of the FDA a lunchable.

They were nana’s