Lauren DC

Might fuck around and watch Land Before Time just to feel something ya know?

I’m gonna say it: The vibes this week aren’t like a Sort of Damacles, they’re like a Definitely Damacles

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Refusing to take a compliment

I could never do the Severance thing — I would spend every waking moment as an outie wondering if the innie was mad at me, and vice versa. Pass.

This eclipse is giving very Live Laugh Lobotomy vibes

At least spending days crying over this tiny anglerfish seems way more worth my time than previous things I’ve cried about.

Life is sure giving a lot more WTF and waaaaay less LMFAO these days, amirite.

Me and the girls (my cold brew, my childhood trauma, my inner demons) are heading out for what should be a fun little Saturday!

The feminine urge to connect with spirits via ouija board and ask if they’re mad at me.

You had me at “stick your hand in a pickle jar on purpose” — I don’t need a reason.

My holiday gift to everyone is assuring you there is no way, no matter where you are or what you’re doing, that you could be half the chaos possum dumpster fire I am. You’re welcome! 🎄✨🪩

looking forward to worrying about what more people think of me

Since the possum in my backyard doesn’t have reliable contact information, I guess I’m taking applications.

Headed to bed so I can be fully rested and at my best for tomorrow’s mental breakdown 🥰

I’m sorry but if you don’t know this rap I’m not sure we can ever connect on an emotional level.