Vehicle Made Of Flesh

Waiting at the psychiatrist like

Condense me into a small cube and leave me somewhere disgusting

Putting myself in a box at the curb of my house to get that cheap uber courier pricing #frugal

I want to be a lichen colony just filtering the air photosynthesizing and jacking off constantly

I literally can’t imagine being 4’11 and 30 at the same time

Gonna wake up one day in my Florida neighborhood and half the population will be dead

I keep a few chicken livers on me at all times just in case an astrology enthusiast opens their mouth.

Keemstar son or fuckboy daughter

It’s so joever it’s as if it never bejan

I like world folk music because the lyrics could be about the oral history of someone’s entire known bloodline or how one of their cows went missing. And I’ll never know.

Any time you experience something for the first time, there’s a Wikipedia article about a French or German person that experienced it first

If they don’t discharge me from the hospital I’m gonna kill myself and give them some actual work to do

The primary advantage to cropping shirts is the free cat toy

You know it’s real when they drunk call you to hype up the pizza they’re about to eat

My new icebreaker for conservatives is asking how they feel knowing #trump got to fuck kids and get away with it but they never will

Infiltrating a run club with friends to get the rest of the herd to go to the wrong place

Most of u will never understand how bad Tourette’s wants to kill its hosts. Currently choking on impulse against my will

Taxidermy bison head on the ceiling fan where the light should be

Will make attachments for other genitals 👍

Building an experimental new urinal for men where u park ur dick in and pee and there’s a big curly straw type thing that the pee goes thru kinda like how ppl make those big hamster cities

If I won a Grammy or some shit and was on stage at the mic I’d just start counting and not stop

Going into the woods to find a wolf with enough lung capacity to blow trump’s house down

Dreams are crazy man. One night I’ll be a tricked out cyborg and the next I just get fucking cancer

Yeah I’m done. I’m ready to be someone’s twink housewife now

Dropped Christianity, not enough postgame content

Shopping around for a studio that will produce my scared straight style reality show but with Japanese people that wear grills and say the n word. They will be dropped off at o block and left to fend for themselves for 2 weeks.

I’m tired of being an eternal pedestrian

Hiding from my cat as he tries to echolocate me

The same ones that listen to rage against the machine

Someone needs to tell trump about lemuria