zandy ✨

trying my best to not make a “gender bender” joke at the avatar mtg prerelease

where to buy a shakeweight 2025

what the actual fuck? …then again, this isn’t the first time parliament has applauded a nazi…

sporty spice’s arms make me feel safe

it sure was a choice to make baby spice the most sexualized spice girl

she will, of course, be in slytherin

she’ll also be on the quidditch team, and will obviously be a beater, and there will be a whole subplot in the fifth season where she injures a girl on an opposing team, and suddenly everyone thinks that quidditch should be segregated by gender. this will most likely replace the slavery subplot

of course in the second season while the main trio is brewing their pollyjuice potion she’ll be right there, creeping around the girl’s bathroom— “amanda dickinson, get out of this bathroom! you don’t belong in here” harry will bellow at her

in a flaccid attempt to distance themselves from the transphobia of the original author, the writes of the harry potter tv series will probably add a trans character to the show. but following in-universe naming conventions, she’ll be named “amanda dickinson” or something

“everybody breaks a glass” by lights

trans people: <try to live their lives peacefully as themselves>
genital-obsessed weirdos in the us government: “oh no you fucking don’t”

penultimate frisbee

the thunderbolts* solve the male loneliness epidemic

the movie “crank”, but if i stop moving i get concussion symptoms

in hindsight, maybe a concussion clinic wasn’t the best place to describe myself as having a “weird brain thing”

when they reboot back to the future (🤮), they’re going to use this as justification for making the time machine a cybertruck, and i hate it

Just spitballing here, but they could call it something alliterative like “Turbo Twos” or “Match Made in Momentum”

“Put them in camps” is legit the wildest response I’ve ever seen to “hey maybe try to understand someone else’s point of view”

in my first ever lucid dream last night, i chose to…
1) get roommates
2) join a cult
3) open the mario wiki on my work computer

it’s time, y’all

“dear diary, today i lost a lot of blood…”

dying on easter monday is called a “reverse jesus”

i literally can’t stop thinking about this… andrew scheer talking about “half a joint to take the edge off the day” is making me want to get weed criminalized again

cleaning my apartment while naked because of capitalism

pov: a drunk andrew scheer corners you in a pub and starts talking about meth

“omg girl, heyyy” i would say to a random stranger— but my eyes would be telling her “get me the fuck out of here”

…then i would try to start a conversation with literally anyone else

if andrew scheer sat down across from me in a pub, i would immediately cover my drink

contrary to popular belief, i transitioned just so i could lose at women’s sports.

He’s goosed. He’s in goose suit. Goose suit, it's an old circus term. That's why we say goose suit. Okay? That's why we say it.