At this point I’m human history I’m knowingly rubbing jalapeño juices into my eyes

Maybe the rapture happened and no one on earth deserved it

Just watched a paper wasp poop through a sunlight beam while reposing on the front steps, all peaceful style

It’s impossible to take a bad picture of a forest

Yes I drink the water (that my cat dipped her nose in)

We should be embracing businesses and platforms that reject AI outright.

On my drive to work recently, I saw three large dogs hunched, shitting, each speaking with its body the corner point of an equilateral triangle. I’ve dreamed about this several times since:)

I bet Jesus had bipolar disorder

I think that if your book is the finalist for an award, you don’t get to put that on the cover

I actually do know how Joan of Arc felt

I’m here to self-destruct