Doug a l'Orange

Bon apetite comrade

One time at Keflavik they came out and warned people not to crowd the baggage chute like this. One guy didn't budge and a suitcase shot out wheels first right in his dick. I have never laughed so hard in my life. Anyway the guy died

Happy to report that the hooded mergansers have returned to the lake. (Sorry for photo quality, I was trying g to shower) 🪶

Read my local results, never mind lmao

You guys are making it hard to be cynical today but I am trying my best

What on earth is "the yaed apple"? I am begging you losers to get an editor that can read cyrillic

Genuinely surprised at all the wins being racked up tonight by a party that has spent the last year with its hands in its pockets going "golly, someone should do something about the things, oh hang on, I have to confirm a judge"

Obviously I hope it doesn't happen but you have to admit that if Zohran wins and then pulls a Fetterman it would objectively be really really really funny

Oh thank goodness. Nothing cheers up the blue no matter who freaks on here like a plane crash.

Godspeed comrade

It's not just you, I was also quite surprised. I would have sworn he died in like 2017

Bon apetite comrade

Dick Cheney died as he lived: very old, very rich, and never having been inconvenienced in any way much less held accountable for anything he every did. Ah well

Simpletons! Yes, yes! I'm a simpleton! Are you a simpleton? We'll build a town and we'll name it Simple Town, because by then all the smart bastards that caused all this, they'll be dead! Simpletons! Let's go! This ought to show 'em! Anybody here not a simpleton? Get the bastard, if there is!

I sometimes dream about a cheesesteak I had in Cairo, of all places. Also a fried chicken thighs sandwich they did at Citizen Wine Bar before it closed. They... haunt me

The farts are but the sighs of the ass

Just to be clear I am 0% on putins side here yet when the BBC is interviewing senior officials that look like promotional Olive Garden waiters you kind of have to laugh

To be fair I kind of see why putin thinks he can win when our side is full of weirdos that look like this

Oh dang those are nice. Good one emil

Three out of four ain't bad

One billion posts about baseball, none of which actually say who won

Reels reminded me that when I was in Panama a sexy young woman started hitting on me and I was so revolted by the idea of a young woman flirting with a 45 year old slab of dogshit like me that im pretty sure I avoided getting pickpocketed, had to have been a scam. Anyway POV No you're absolutely not

I have a 13 hour work day on Mondays and mild IBS should I eat the self heating chengdu hot pot for dinner tomorrow

I try not to be political on here. But. I don't think the inside of a marble sarcophagus is where I'd want to shit. Best shitting experience is my cousins place from the 70s (shag carpet, mint green wallpaper)

Well, hello there gorgeous 🪶

Bon apetite comrade

Vaguely fantasizing about some sort of accident (industrial?) that somehow (non-fatally) breaks every bone in my body and I just lay in a bed recuperating in hellraiser-like agony for a year or two

I want to get off Mr Bones fucking wild ride

Got to the restroom just in the nick of time but saw one of my students in there and am currently trying to contain what will make a campus ghost story for decades to come, pray for me

I, would also like this