Christopher Rose

a little girl is sitting in front of a bed with the word duh written on her face . ALT: a little girl is sitting in front of a bed with the word duh written on her face .

It’s obviously a metaphysical dart gun

What does Marduk have to do to get respect around here?

You’re actually increasing the morbid curiosity factor….

Einstein - AI Homework Agent Einstein logs into Canvas and does your homework automatically. He has his own computer — he can watch lectures, read essays, write papers, and participate in discussions.

Is this bad

It is the only logical conclusion.

What gets me is the people who think he’s a genius.

Also, getting the traveling public to turn on the Democrats didn’t work the first time.

I’d ask how stupid Kristi Noem thinks we are, but the answer is clear. So is the question of how stupid she is.

I need someone to explain to me how not letting people use automated kiosks that use biometric scans to allow you to enter the country, and instead making them stand in line to speak to an agent is somehow less expensive and requires less manpower.

Text message: “You know, I really do think this is the best online class I have taken, ever. No smoke, just doing some of the work during the conference period because there is testing going on, but you are really good. “Granted, you set it up in a way that have to ACTUALLY learn instead of just fucking around, but you know, at least it is mostly interesting.” Reply: “That may be the nicest compliment I've ever gotten.” Response: “Oh, my bad. You suck.”

I feel like this should be a meme.

Flavorless is the American way!

Contrary to what they may imply, we have lots of terrible food here, too.

Oh, I see. You think this is about the food instead of rank snobbery.

Have you tried dinosaur vibes? It still tastes like normal vibes but it’s dark green.

Text message: “You know, I really do think this is the best online class I have taken, ever. No smoke, just doing some of the work during the conference period because there is testing going on, but you are really good. “Granted, you set it up in a way that have to ACTUALLY learn instead of just fucking around, but you know, at least it is mostly interesting.” Reply: “That may be the nicest compliment I've ever gotten.” Response: “Oh, my bad. You suck.”

I feel like this should be a meme.

I told a student yesterday that he’s ready to be a father because he has dad jokes down perfectly, and I ain’t even sorry.

a man is covering his mouth in front of a screen that says big money no whammys ALT: a man is covering his mouth in front of a screen that says big money no whammys

Randy Andy goes to jail.
Ex South Korean president goes to jail.

They say things happen in threes.

You will all be pleased to know that the cat did manage to get to the silk rug in time to vomit.

The last ten years have consisted of people saying “College professors need to [insert daily task of every academic ever].”

I mean, they all send me into an apoplectic rage, too; I just feel like I should at least acknowledge the cycle.

Extended family, not core. But possibly.

As others have said: it’s rude and unprofessional. You’re saying you are more important than everyone else, and you usually aren’t.

If you weren’t an invited keynote speaker, no one else thinks you’re that important. Get over it.

She then came back and began her remarks. She ran over her 20 minute time by 10 minutes, apparently becoming blind and completely ignore the chair’s attempts to cut her off.

For the non academics among you, there are two acceptable reasons to leave the dais during your panel: incoming nuclear strike, and death (your own).

Her panel begins. As the first speaker is talking, she starts doing her makeup. As the second speaker is talking, she gets up, loudly banging all the chairs together, before departing the dais.

The day of her panel, I was going over info with the panelists. It wasn’t the first day, and I had learned that the table mics were very sensitive and told the panelists “they’ll pick your voice up. You don’t need to touch them.”
She responded “but I’m short.” (I … don’t know why.)

Let me preface this by saying she was an absolute diva through the entire run up. Every time she saw a poster for the event that didn’t specifically mention her as a panelist (most of them only named the two keynotes) she would email me and ask if she “should plan not to speak.”

Once Upon a Time, I was running a conference in honor of a Name Scholar who had passed. One of our professors, who was not the Name Scholar she imagined herself to be, put herself on one of the panels to the surprise of no one who had ever met her.

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY

Omg, this one made me howl out loud.

Elon seems to be unaware of the existence of the Irish, Welsh, and Scottish Gaelic languages (as well as the extinct Brittanic languages) and the cultures therein.

Also, what a surprise he thinks American culture is *English*.

I asked a scholar who works on Egyptian music within minutes of meeting them if they had heard that a particular song was sung by prostitutes during world war I.