Miranda W 🇨🇦

the universe is only constantly expanding to get away from earth

A joke image of the famous joy division T-shirt image of a wave pattern. In this version the waveform is a set of straight lines and the caption is "damnit I ironed my joy division shirt"

What is it like inside your head?

Today I started the "no sweets 4 weeks" challenge which I will restart tomorrow.

Discusting!

(listening to my body)

What's that, body? An entire wedge of blue cheese? Are you sure?

I want to explain French philosophy to you. But it’s Sartre a difficult subject to understand.

waiter: would you like some capers with your pasta

batman: what

TV screen shot of skier with lower third reading “CAN ERIK READ.”

yes, but he still has to sound out some of the longer words

Photo of a small flock of sheep in a field. Standing to one side is a Welsh Border Collie. On the other, a Shepherd. They're having a conversation in speech bubbles: Dog: All 30 sheep are ready, farmer. Shepherd: But I only count 26. Dog: I know, I rounded them up. Ba-DUM-tisss!

I'll get me coat...

#Farming #Sheep #Sheepdogs #Puns #TerriblePuns

Poor Bob, dabbing his eyes with wads of dollars

This was far funnier than it had any right to be. 😂

Beautiful. And "My ride's here".

ME: a guy at work broke his jaw and has to eat all his meals through a straw

WIFE: wow that sucks

ME: i know what a straw does linda

I'm writing poem about pumpkins:

Pumpkins are orange

Goddammit

A screenshot of a tumblr post from user kleinergeist, reading "Oh, so when YOU grab a Danish for a quick snack, it's a guilt-free, tasty little treat. But when I, Grendel,"

shoutout to tumblr user kleinergeist for this post which is going straight into my powerpoint for Grendel day in my monster class this week

if you are a musician and you hold the mic out for the crowd sing more than 3x, we are owed a refund. karaoke night is down the street, buddy.

Thanks for the thesaurus, I similar it so much.

So sorry.

Fun facts and definitions:

- a BOG is a wetland that is acidic
- a FEN is a wetland that is alkaline
- a SWAMP is a wetland that can support trees
- a MARSH is a wetland that cannot support trees

Now you know!

"Fuck around and find out."
– Maria Montessori

Photo of sunny woodland with some dandelions in the foreground with text over it reading: Join the #BlueSkyArtShow Saturday September 6, 2025 The topic is #Summer Any art. Any skill level. Use both tags to be included in our feed. Multiple entries welcome.

Join the #BlueSkyArtShow
Saturday September 6, 2025
The theme is #Summer

Any art, any skill level
Use both tags to be
included in our feed.
Multiple entries welcome

Show us your shiny things!
More details in the comments

#photography #drawing #painting #sketching #writing

"A few rounds of Geralds" - Blackadder

Regular Sunday: ugh tomorrow is Monday.

Holiday Monday Sunday: I am immortal. Nothing can hurt me.

#UxbridgeEnglishDictionary SMATTERING: Asking what is wrong.

this site is bad! it's going to fail! its user base has plateaued! it's not making any money! nobody here is smart except for me! everybody here is stupid! nobody is having any good discussions! i don't like being here! ok that's it for now. be back in 90 minutes

I am constantly getting tagged to share posts from "rescues" that are obviously fake. Please learn to recognize the signs so you are not wasting your money and sympathy on scammers! 🧵

1. They have no website, search results, phone #, or physical address - only a PayPal or other donation account.

Those horns almost look like arms

At the point where I would rather see a ghost than have a piece of toast and watch the evening news.