Dwayne Jetski 🍢

It remains astounding how unfaithfully the media covers Trump’s ramblings day to day. We’re a decade into this — and his rambling gets worse — and yet the coverage continues to portray his public appearances as if they’re coherent.

the supreme court tariff ruling probably means we’re getting some emotional air strikes

"I say we invest that money back in the Board of Peace!"

RFK Jr.: ‘Time In Hot Cars Helps Babies To Sweat Out Toxins’

RFK Jr.: ‘Time In Hot Cars Helps Babies To Sweat Out Toxins’ https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-time-in-hot-cars-helps-babies-to-sweat-out-toxins/

Would 100% work

here's exactly how it would play out

MAHA: Eating a giant steak cooked in butter alongside beef tallow fries and washing it down with coffee spiked with butter

Not MAHA: Clean air, clean water, health insurance, vaccines, disease monitoring, scientific research, food assistance, food safety, bike lanes

Not only did Trump lose the 2016 popular vote by nearly 3 million votes, once he was in office he launched a massive "voter fraud" investigation to prove that he'd *actually* won the popular vote by several million and then they didn't find a thing and quietly disbanded it.

Turning Point USA Announces Alternative Puerto Rico

Turning Point USA Announces Alternative Puerto Rico https://theonion.com/turning-point-usa-announces-alternative-puerto-rico/

It’s a much better show.

LinkedIn is funny because you’ll go on there and see executives celebrating the AI commercials while on every social media, people are talking about how much they all sucked

Happy #Lawyercat Anniversary for all who celebrate! It's been four years since the kitten appeared in my Zoom courtroom, and I released the 48 second video that made the whole world laugh. Here is the full video showing the big reveal at the end (in two parts because Blue sky). Enjoy!

the suggestion that the libertarian movement has always been anti trump is infuriating, but also a sign that people may have a sense of which way the wind is blowing

im growing concerned the fake internet money you cant spend anywhere is not the foolproof investment id been led to believe

get his ass, Bernie

Lawyer: “Have you ever had a personal relationship with Donald Trump?”

Epstein: “Yes”

Lawyer: “Have you socialized with him in the presence of females under 18?”

Epstein: “I’m asserting my Fifth, Sixth, and Fourteenth Amendment rights.”

via @meidastouch.com

If you're rich you get a tax cut, if you're not you have to work longer and harder. Populism! bsky.app/profile/atru...

an alternative strategy we could consider is allowing people to go to college and retire and just having some immigration

Elon Musk claims Christopher Nolan has lost ‘integrity’ over The Odyssey casting Lupita Nyong’o is reportedly set to play Helen of Troy in Nolan’s upcoming adaptation of Homer’s epic poem

The woke scolds are trying to make this about racism. But Musk is right. It's about historical and scientific integrity. When the God of Thunder disguises himself as a swan to seduce and fuck a queen and the resulting baby hatches from an egg, *of course* the baby will be white. It's just science.

At the most fundamental level, the Trump admin is still treating peaceful protesters as the aggressors and the heavily armed government militias as the victims, even though Homan, Miller, Noem, Trump have spent months torquing them into a frenzy of hate and telling them they can act with impunity.

And I genuinely, truly and non-trollingly, understand concerns about threats to officers in question, but in every single other law enforcement shooting I've covered, authorities name the individual(s) involved. This is just the baseline of public accountability.

It's not quite the most pressing issue at the moment, but the American people absolutely have a right to know the names of the federal officials who shot and killed a man peacefully protesting, who was on his knees, prone in the street when they shot him in the back.

This is embarrassingly on-the-nose textbook “psychology of fascism” stuff. Bitter, impotent tools getting to feel powerful by proxy watching brutality done on their behalf.

The “different type of warrant”:

ICE Deems Being In Privacy Of Own Home Obstruction Of Justice

ICE Deems Being In Privacy Of Own Home Obstruction Of Justice https://theonion.com/ice-deems-being-in-privacy-of-own-home-obstruction-of-justice/

this is just conservatism, no understanding of the systems they benefit from and constant false victimhood

I love how they haven’t even settled on a number. Eight or ten wars. Something along those lines.

This man is talking about stealing a country at gunpoint from nations the US is allied with. Of course Europeans hate us. You would feel the same way if you were in their place. American voters put this man in power, he didn’t seize it this time.