Herrific

Okay, I’m visually impaired so I couldn’t see your partner at first, but I was thinking, “Who took this photo, Wes Anderson?” And then I zoomed in and I 100% see your point here. (But also, are you Wes Anderson?? 🤣)

What’s that? The box? What box? That box? The box with a LYS name on it? This box? The heavy box?

Uhhhhhh look, so that is my “I didn’t kill anyone” reward box and that is fingering and we all know that sock yarn doesn’t count as stash NOW BACK AWAY FROM MY BOX.

And that’s why I needed a reward.

Ooh! What did you talk on? I’m always interested in what educators in other fields are doing!

I’ll let him blame *me* at this point if he’s impeached and removed.

Well folks, I now have a college student whose accommodations are that they are not allowed to fail the course.

At this point I am doing significantly more work than the student. As I am not allowed to grade them accurately, why not just change all grades to an A and be done with it.

Husband just watched me yell, “What the SHITSNAX!” and then do the FAST stroke test and then say, “Well SOMEONE just earned an email” and he’s like, “So, grading going well?” Which means he’s risking his damn life with that question, my friends.

I could really fuck up a few scones right now.

And I don’t mean like fancy scones or anything. I mean like scones you get down the corner shop while you’re grabbing a sausage roll scones.

I’ll take the sausage roll or a scotch egg, too, please.

I’ve been teaching literature, including poetry, for ten years. Can I spell rhytn rhth rhythm? Can I heck. (Thanks Siri; you’re a pal.)

I’ve talked four fellow faculty down off the ledge about this in the last month, and I’ll tell you something, it’s only to give myself more room on the ledge.

I wish there were a pair of glasses that could simulate to others what I see with best correction. Like here, pop these on for a moment and see why old mom is picking broken glass out of her foot again because you left your water on the floor. Yes, that *is* fun, isn’t it?

It’s not you. I teach in higher ed, and my colleagues look down on me for pursuing both subject matter degrees and andragogy-focused degrees. There’s active sneering about learning to teach in some circles.

I’m gonna steal your old name.

You know, a-broropriate it.

spongebob squarepants is holding a piece of paper in his hand while standing next to another cartoon character . Alt: SpongeBob is running frantically, trying to capture the reams of paper flying around him.

Because of you, I learned not to open my car windows when driving over 35mph.

Can confirm. Am 55, was responsible for the demise of “fleek.”

michael scott from the office says i 'm dead inside Alt: Michael Scott from The Office says “I’m dead inside”

Student completed a month-long unit in two days, including a research proposal, a lit review, and two drafts.

Student states Turnitin misidentified his work as AI because he uses ChatGPT so much that he’s trained it to write like him.

Just for the record, I don’t even want my ass on a toilet seat, let alone my hypothetical cocaine.

Geez, I breastfed for about six or seven years for all of mine together. This would definitely be the only way “the girls” brought in any cash 🤣

I see there is a purchase in my future! 😍

Ooh, Lorna’s Laces? Looks like Shepherd Sock in Huron? Gorgeous, whatever it is!

Woke up suddenly at 4am, saw more batshittedness about RIP Jr. on here, immediately scheduled multiple vaccinations for this weekend.

Screw you and the worm you rode in on, you toilet-snorting beef-jerky looking fuck.

Love many of my fellow faculty, but I’ve talked two out of quitting this week, and maybe that should be admin’s job, just saying.

I’m far too low on the pay scale to be in charge of retention.

I used to get to teach young adults to write. I loved that—it was amazing!

Now, I try to teach angry, manipulative middle-schoolers in young adult bodies to follow instructions and not cheat on literally everything. Many are whiny and vindictive. This is not amazing.

My tinnitus has decided it wants a new sound, and that sound is remarkably similar to the sound of a balloon going overhead in animal crossing, so you’ll have to excuse me if I keep whipping out a slingshot and looking up.

If anyone is wondering about the state of higher education at the moment, I’ve just had someone send me an ALL CAPS!!1!! email stating that I can’t prove they used AI for their assignment and they are going to sue and get me fired.

Chat, you’re never gonna guess what they left in their document.

That would definitely do it! 🤣

Just saw a post of someone saying they might make a tuna melt, and my immediate thought was wow, how warm do you have to get them before they do that?

Coffee, grant me the energy
to bestow the FO upon the FA
the wakefulness to roll my eyes at bullshit
and the anxiety to not call people jackholes directly

I’m deeply envious, but also delighted you got to enjoy that performance!

I should add him to my comps playlist now, in fact. Time to start curating that!

Ooh, love Kishi Bashi and have wanted to see him live for some time! Was he amazing?

“I’ll send a Threads!” (I don’t have FB)
“A reel, then!” (No Insta.)
“Um, TikTok?” (Didn’t agree to new T&C)
“X?” (You mean Twitter? No.)
“Snap?” (Nuh uh.)
“So… what do you do for fun?” (Fun? Uh, grad school I guess?)