The book I'm reading, by an author in the UK, references a "bacon and tomato sandwich, with lettuce." Have we no universal standards?

Getting ready to ride my bicycle across Iowa with 15,000 other silly people.
Can you please ensure the weather will cooperate?

***Kohl’s cash

Good morning, all you meddling kids. I suppose you'll be tooling around in your VW buses today, smoking weed and bringing down the greedy and villainous. Hop to it.

I had a mild case of chicken pox in 1st grade and was super stoked to stay home and watch game shows and soaps with my mom. And then the stupid President broke a bunch of laws and instead there was nothing but the Watergate trials on TV. Worst. Sick week. Ever.

Punctuation can be washed and reused, folks. You don't need to shell out every month for a subscription service.

I need my legal scholars to advise, please. Can we go ahead and book the Hague now?

You might be hoping to save a little of your Sunday aside in a Mason jar, but this is the number one way that people get botulism. Just use up your day while it's fresh.

If you're weary of your own old brain and its well-worn neural pathways, you can turn it inside out and start over. No one will see.

Oh boy. I should be watching this. This is the kind of drama I can get behind. Low key.

WHAT HAPPENED AT THE BEE??

Crazy how long this conversation has been going on

Pediatricians say that childhood vaccines are safe. A heroin-addled nepo baby with a brain worm says they may not be. For busy voters, it can be hard to know who to believe.

I'm behind on the news. Have the enemies of all good people everywhere dropped dead yet?

The world is full of treachery but all the nonsense I distribute to you people is paraben free and made without seed oils.

The Vodka Festival is coming! Our local gin society has been unusually demandy this year so we've set up a little pen for them near the opera fields. You know me. I can't help but love everybody.

I have my crystal coupe polished and my shaker at the ready-lets go!

Are we all quite sure the parasitic brain worm died and isn't, say, taking meetings and setting forth policy?

Sen. Ossoff: Who out there in the American public is sitting at home demanding that we shut down cancer research and Alzheimer's research?

That’s quite a night.

Wednesday, is it? We'll just see about that.

Constituents to Chuck Grassley: "Are you bringing back that guy from El Salvador?"

Senior Citizen: “If I get an order to pay a ticket to pay $1200 and I just say ‘no’, does that stand up? Because he just got an order from the Supreme Court and he just said ‘screw it’”

“I’M PISSED!”

I find "listen to the women" excellent advice in this specific case and... in life in general. ♀️

#VoteNO 👎

May the enemies of good people everywhere drop dead today.

Also I'm running a special. Any of you who are in arrears for your tithes: it's forgotten. Clean slate.

At last, something to look forward to.

Dubuque, Iowa’s very own Carnegie Stout Public Library❤️

Just bought tickets to see @birbigs.bsky.social at the Englert! Let me buy you a beer after the show, Mike-I know all the fun underbelly spots. 😬