yo gabby gabby

Hm.

In other news, the plants on my balcony have started to sprout

What else is there 2 say

Any alien races planning to take over, better do it quick while there’s still some salvageable intelligent life here on Earth. Unless brainless rot is what you’re after, in which case, I don’t judge

The leopards ate your face huh

If my little bitch self who gets scared by her own fucking shadow can ride the NYC subway at 1 AM with no problem, then so can anyone.

Feeling like a big dumbass working on my taxes right now. Who am I sending this money to

I don’t think our country is in the shitter, no. Upon closer inspection, it is, in fact, floating face down in the septic tank

What happened to Gogurt. We used to be all about that shit back in the day. Where did the passion go

One of my proudest accomplishments is introducing to my husband to the McElroy brothers. He now sings the McElroy Family Clubhouse theme song at random intervals throughout the day

No worries babe. What you said was really mean and out of pocket but no worries. I have blocked you on LinkedIn

If the IRS gets abolished before I can enjoy the privileges of joint filing with my husband I will punch a wall very hard with my fist

Nollywood movies are so fucking incredible. Like why aren’t American movies taking more inspiration from them

This is very true

I wanna follow my fave writers on here but most of them are dead

God dammit everything on this app is public????