Matt Page

Hey, that’s me!

Imagine going to the theater for a show and every single performer on the stage hates you.

A big shitty parade for a shitty little man.

Turns out there was no clear winner in last night’s measuring contest.

Issue 2 of Yesterday’s Tomorrow is out today. Visit epluribusmormon.square.site to order your copy.

A mysterious time travel organization in the distant future has recruited Steamboat Willie to help them complete a very important mission: traveling back in time to kill Baby Hitler.

When you’re the president, can we be done with this stupid concept of insurance being tied to one’s job?

Trump’s “Buyout” Offer for Federal Workers Is Already Backfiring Donald Trump’s ultimatum to federal workers seems to be having the opposite effect.

Trump’s “Buyout” Offer for Federal Workers Is Already Backfiring:

“I’ll continue to do my job and fight for the position I’ve earned. It took me 10 years of applying and 20 years experience in my field to get here. I will not be pushed out by two billionaire trust funds babies. I’M NOT LEAVING!”

To be honest, I’m surprised her spelling was as close as it was.

My love language is holding a never-ending grudge against anyone who’s ever disrespected you - even though you eventually forgave them.

How long until the Oligarchy targets Reddit for this? If it continues, I give it 6 months.

When it comes to Naziism, I only recognize two genders:

1. Being a Nazi
2. Being an Anti-Nazi

If you are not unequivocally Anti-Nazi, you are in the first category and I do not want to know you.

So his worshipers are upset because the first time he’s ever sat through a church service in his miserable life he was asked politely to consider not being an asshole? Of course they wouldn’t recognize that that’s kind of the whole point of Christianity. He’s lucky he didn’t burst into flames.

Yeah, I wish.

I would be seriously so embarrassed if the aliens came right now.

Today it is “actually it’s a Roman salute,” but I guarantee before the end of the year it will be “actually it’s an ancient Indian symbol that means good fortune or well-being.”

Just took a glance at the comments on your Facebook post and thought I’d pass along this little note for you…

Inauguration photos just dropped. What a bizarre couple.

I feel that by not scamming right wingers out of their hard earned cash, I am somehow leaving easy money on the table.

Its like when you’re ignorant to reality and have never read a book, you’ll think the words of a bloviating doofus are actually profound wisdom.

Which made me think about how some people think Trump and Musk are brilliant people. 2/2

Rewatching season one of Severance tonight, I was laughing about how Mark knows his brother-in-law is a doofus and doesn’t take him seriously. But the Mark on the inside thinks the brother-in-law’s dumb book is so meaningful… 1/2

So are we talking about state owned media here?

Just got back from restocking my booth at the Ogden Quilted Bear (located inside the Newgate Mall). Mormon saint candles, Garbage Pail Saints trading cards, Future Day Saints graphic novels, and more. If you’re around Ogden, UT, you should go do some shopping there!

I just got this added to my pull list for tomorrow and the rest of the issues.

I refer to myself as an incel because I have never voluntarily eaten celery.

If Musk buys TikTok, I will delete my account, delete the app, and never look back - same thing I did the day he took over Twitter. I want nothing to do with that evil gooner.

I’m looking forward to Battle Beast, but hoping it is so successful that you put out a “noir” edition, so we can see it with just the inks. I’d happily buy it twice.

THE PRICE OF EGGS IS SO HIGH RIGHT NOW I WOULD VOTE FOR POL POT IF I COULD!