Eileen Danger

Smells good in here

Make the Ides of March Great Again

All he do is sleep sleep sleep

Pretty illustration of a pink guillotine with flowers and text reading “reward them for the world they created”

I love art

Ok once and for all, what is the horniest Christmas song? And why is it Santa Clause Got Stuck in My Chimney?

Truth is, I would download a car.

Witnessing a guy who appears to be about 50 get what I believe is the first prescription of his life.
“It’s where a CVS? What is that? A pharmacy? And it will, what, just be under my name? I go up and ask for it? It’s an…antibiotic? Is that right?”

There is no greater hive of scum and villainy than the EXER urgent care on Eagle Rock blvd

In LA you’re always one degree of separation away from learning someone you’ve admired your whole life was once “a massive pain in the ass”

We’re crossing a critical threshold where everyone now has an account they hate on here. The Age of Blood has begun

Sad to say goodbye to my 34k followers but I finally deleted my Twitter. It’s took 10 years to amass my 75k followers but that’s the cost of bravery!

Basically would have been paid $8 / hr (working 14 hr days, of course) to be Russell Brand’s full time wank butler. Showbiz, baby.

After saying “meditating” (with air quotes) a bunch of times, my interviewer finally said, “it’s masturbating, the guy masturbates basically all day”.
I declined the job.

In 2011 I interviewed to be Russel Brand’s assistant on a movie. This is how I learned that, to treat his sex addiction, Brand needed to “meditate” for prolonged periods during the day and it would have been my job to inform him that he needed to wrap up his “meditating” when he was needed on set.

Is it too late to do a top ten X-Files episode list? Cuz mine is just Bad Blood ten times in a row.