Philip Seymour Nothing

I look like Col. Sanders if he ate his delicious fried chicken 24/7.

It's nice to meet you. I'm a man out of time.

YouTube video by Bloodshot Records Trailer Bride, "Hope Is A Thing With Feathers"

youtu.be/73A6rBGDdAU?...

I rake to forget.

I think I know why we're all here. It's to discuss the snail's pace that's been adopted at the DeKalb, IL Taco Bell drive-thru, right?

If you’re currently lost in a corn maze, your best bet is going to be hunkering down for the night

I look like Col. Sanders if he ate his delicious fried chicken 24/7.

Do I have debts no honest man can pay? Yes.
Will I go see the Springsteen movie on its first day? Also yes.

I'm in a trance AND I'm in a transom. I'm in 2 things. Please help me.

Fun Fact: it's not really there

It's today.

if role model is the alternative, gimme bad bunny 8 days a week

You guys know I float on air?

I'm going to a police station in the 1950s for sandwiches and coffee. Anybody want anything?

hella sad, dog

I use a lot of product in my white hair. Otherwise, it will be all puffy and leave me looking like a Q-tip or my late mother-in-law.

The United States could have great things like this. But we like to spend our money on kidnapping people and trafficking them to concentration camps instead. #Priorities

This place is rife with sexual insinuendo and double bubble entendres.

I used to imagine that Columbia House order pickers were marveling at my good taste in music.

A new Columbia house account could heal me.

just like you guys, i put my pants on one leg at a time, leaning against a wall, losing my balance, falling to my knees, yelling “FUCK”, rolling over onto my butt, turning back onto my knees, trying to get back up, grabbing the TV stand for support, attempting to catch the TV, yelling “FUCK” again,

Employment jelly, repost for a job you'll love and deserve

Offer received and accepted, funemployment ends homies.

I release my employment jelly to the wild now, thank you friend.

Every morning, I wake up and think, "Maybe today is the day that my personality completely changes, and I start doing all the things I've been talking about doing for 40 years.".

weird how the guy born into obscene wealth, bailed out repeatedly, allowed to fail upwards forever until he fell ass-backwards into the presidency, and then was declared by the Supreme Court to be a Very Special Boy Who Can Crime Forever never stops whining about how everything is rigged against him

fred schneider confuses chickens

Like a flake frosted with stupid if that helps at all.

And then he punches the cob hard.

i'm sorry i called you a stupid frosted flake

hate it here