Brittany Deanna

If you drive a white Toyota Highlander and parked up on the curb, in my neighbor’s yard, to attend a Friday night service (???) at the church up the street—
I was the one who wrote “you’re an asshole” on your dirty back window.
Jesus hates people who park like assholes.

I redownloaded Hinge 🫡

Therapists should have to work in pairs, each trying to persuade you to take their advice, and one of them should be evil

People who don’t use headphones in public deserve the electric chair 🙂

Just re-downloaded Hinge because I obviously want my self esteem to plunge during SAD szn in Portland

Forgetting your headphones at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

I’m trying to re-home a small poodle that barks a LOT. If interested let me know and I'II hop over my neighbor's fence and get it for you.

Tweet that says if your concern with trans women is that men might claim to self-ID as trans to gain access to women’s spaces and assault them, then your problem is actually with predatory men and not trans women.

All of this.

Just a reminder that in 2020, Dr. Oz suggested that opening schools during COVID would "only cost us 2-3% in terms of total mortality," and that "any life is a life lost but... that might be a tradeoff some folks would consider."

Please be advised that between the Eras Tour ending, Wicked coming out, Kraken hockey, and Grizzlies basketball, I will be insufferable for the foreseeable future.

Meanwhile on the other site, I triggered some idiot and he’s posting that I’m fat and ugly under numerous tweets. Men are so uninspired

YouTube video by The Onion 'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,' Says General

'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,' Says General

I feel like this is how I look when I’m listening to metal. Like, full of rage but can’t be taken seriously.

People who don’t put their phones on DND when they go to sleep are sociopaths. Why is my mom responding to the photo of my cat at 4:23am (her time)

Tortie cat curled up under a Christmas tree

Being a single adult means I can put up my Christmas decorations on Nov 15th because it makes me and my cat happy

Office Shooter Too Grossed Out To Kick Down Door Of Lactation Room -The Onion

Office Shooter Too Grossed Out To Kick Down Door Of Lactation Room
theonion.com/office-shoot...

Lmaooo

14 year old, ginger corgi in a fuzzy purple onesie asleep on her matching dog bed

Hi 🥺

me when I order the hottest chicken jalfrezi on the menu

Our stunning home galaxy stretching over a frozen loch in the Scottish Highlands.

shot, but the sky was so clear I forgot about the cold, I was in absolute awe at what I was seeing. The pinky area a 3rd of the way up the Milky Way is the North America nebula and in the top left you just about make out the Andromeda galaxy.

#photography

Uhhh. This is my dog, Pepita, dressed up as the pope. Popeita. That’s all I got.

do you think Wolverine can dunk a basketball? Most 5'3" guys can't, but he's got extra strength, right? But he's got a couple hundred pounds of metal weighing him down too.
I've been thinking about it for a bit and I think he'd be a great rebounder (weight, agility) but not a good dunker

The leopards eatin GOOD right now.

Don't look at the news

Don't look at the news

Don't look at the news

(Looks at the news)

Oh, for fuck's sake