mr. baby

one of our faculty members just came into the office and told me i’m autistic

turns out “faggy” is a playable word in wordle

practically begging fanfiction writers to learn the difference between prone and supine

i’m gonna thumb your slit when i say this,

me every time i walk into my bathroom and see my bidet

if you don’t have a lung-rattling cough and a blaring car alarm they actually don’t let you on the ferry

someone on the bus smelled like bedroom of my old best friend who i haven’t spoken to in seven years, 4 dead 8 wounded

dale jennings is kind of the most tragic character of all time when you think about it

what most people fail to realize is that yellowjackets is a comedy

honkin is a gateway drug to tonkin

forgot to pack a babybell in my lunch and i literally burst into tears

back on my newsreader bullshit and anna torv….. the woman you are….

YES MA’AM! YES I DO! YOU’RE WELCOME!

been awake for 28 hours and just hallucinated someone knocking on my door. saturday nite babey.

me: i’m super chill all the time
also me: [5.5 hours before my flight] ok better head to the airport!

just ate gyoza with green tea salt on them and i was so hungry and they fucked so severely that i didn’t even take a picture. AND 12 of those bitches were $9. i love it here.

this is my fifth and final night at this hotel in osaka and i only just figured out now that i have a heating unit in my room. i’ve just been freezing my ass off in here this whole time for no reason.

a 7-11 tuna mayonnaise onigiri is something that can be so personal

being in japan won’t stop me from having my annual cry to scott and tessa’s 2018 pyongchang moulin rouge medley

not to sound like an earnest tourist but seeing mt fuji with your own eyes is truly some profound shit. top 10 life experience so far and i’m being deadass about that.

got on the correct train at the correct time at the busiest train station in japan i am a GOD i can do ANYTHING

this mixed with getting <2 hours of sleep is making me a radical misandrist

at the airport and was getting my water bottle out of my backpack to fill it up and a man quite literally shoved me out of the way and started filling his bottle up. hello? can anyone hear me?

wouldn’t be a car ride with cohen in vancouver without us harmonizing sean paul

cheating on your husband with a different version of your husband is soooooo camp thank you severance i love you severance

just had to explain to a PhD student that 0.25 of an hour equals 15 minutes

not to sound like a capitalist on main but going from a glitchy iphone 12 to a 16 is, unfortunately, drastically changing my life

i love my cats and i would lay down my life for them but having a cat that loves you so much that even the sight of a suitcase makes him stress vomit 3,000 times at 4:30am is NOT IT CHIEF

on our walk a cybertruck drove past my dad and i and we gave it a middle finger and shouted profanities at it. bonding experience.

a taco salad is something that can be so personal