@hardycroucher.bsky.social
Standup comedian in Perth
Exchange gift card for store credit
EXCHANGE GIFT CARD FOR STORE CREDIT
*searching up “gas guzzling car” in eBay a week after realizing you have to WALK around the walkable city*
17.02.2025 08:59 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Trying to convince the boys I’m not empreg
“Yeah it’s just all 5 of us barren AF guys hanging out”
How much gamblers debt has Bruno Mars got?
Can I make a song with him?
Wrinkly clothes fetish?
time to iron out the kinks
Once-ler X Greedler?
YOU ARE SHIPPING ED HELMS WITH ED HELMS
Never seen my car and my wife in the same room
20.01.2025 13:46 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I’m worried my wife’s a transformer
20.01.2025 13:25 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0“Yeah they got a tree museum,
it’s only a dollar and a half to see em
and the parking is great.”
Bro they just call Young Sheldon “Sheldon” in the show
17.01.2025 06:14 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0My slam poet friend is politely snapping their fingers as they watch me hit a killing spree in Halo infinite
14.01.2025 11:51 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Is my client a perfect man?
Yes.
*I gesture to my client, my client nails bottle flip on the cap*
The perfectly reasonably sized pot watching me reach for the unnecessarily large pot that doesn’t fit in the dishwasher
11.01.2025 01:03 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Smoking a AirPod
Listening to Newport
Roommate: stop writing “jet fuel can’t melt steel bars” on the fog of the kitchen mirror, it scares our guests.
Me: the truth is scary.
Botched robbery?
No be more optometrist!
Successful murder
(Screaming at mirror)
How the hell have you seen “Jumanji: welcome to the jungle” 6 dogdam times In the 18 years since its release.
GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER.
(Smashes mirror)
Dochii or the Riddler wear tape better?
08.01.2025 06:44 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Been craven the hunter lately
08.01.2025 03:27 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Oooooh no guys just found out Bobs burgers got 15 seasons.
It’s never gonna end.
It’s never gonna end.
The shows funny but it’s never gonna end.
Guy who made fish fingers trying to think of the next big thing: um uh snake toes? Will kids eat that?
05.01.2025 00:42 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Who put the Cher in the wu tang Cher clan?
Who put the tang in the walla walla bing bang?
Hottest, sexiest pizza delivery guy: pizza with extra sausage
Jeffrey Bezos: ummmmm I have no money to pay you
Surgeon mum be like:
I just added some zucchini in where your appendix was but you won’t even notice it
WRONG I think your the most amazing artist Martin,
Checkmate once again.
It ls not springtime right now Martin,
Checkmate.
My ex wife no longer misses me.
I have been hit.
Call and ambulance.
Her aim got WAY better.
Japan 4th country tho?
01.01.2025 10:39 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 1
Got a savior complex
The savior in question
Spoiler alert for hot frosty: Hot frosty becomes cold fleshy
28.12.2024 11:55 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
