wether

A fabricated statement from Nintendo of America's Twitter account addressing a fictitious scenario in which the Earth's oxygen supply is presumed to be depleting at a rapid pace, leaving humanity with mere days to live. "This is Miyamoto. On behalf of everyone who is employed at Nintendo Co. LTD and its subsidiaries, we deeply mourn the countless human lives which will be lost due to the depletion of the global oxygen supply. To anyone who has ever played one of our games, we are eternally grateful to have created long-lasting fun and memories for you. To ease the suffering of families and children across the world, the Mario Kart World game for the Nintendo Switch 2 system will be available as a free download on Nintendo eShop for the foreseeable future. We hope this small gesture of kindness will ease the pain as humanity prepares for a worst-case scenario." The statement is distastefully plastered with logos for Nintendo and Nintendo Switch 2, as well as with a render of Mario from Mario Kart World.

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. John Default Profile Picture: "No one read this statement and thought it was distasteful? Why did Miyamoto think this would help anyone?" NintenDeen: "Simple: Nintendo is so depraved that they'd exploit a global crisis to boost the player count of the failed Mario Kart World and force consumers back into the Switch 2 ecosystem to boost sales and player numbers."

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. PlayStation Nation: "What the fuck are you doing falsely advertising sales during these trying times? I went to the website and Mario Kart World is still selling for $80 USD." Kremling Kevin: "If you actually read the statement, it clearly says the discount is available on Nintendo eShop. Meaning the application on the Switch 2 itself, not the web browser version." PlayStation Nation: "Point still stands."

A fabricated Tweet responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. Isaboner: "Nothing for Switch 1 owners?"

Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not

neurodivergent industrial complex

Bumper Sticker: "Don't honk I'll cum"

Bumper Sticker: "Free rides for goth girls"

License Plate decal that just says "Brazzers"

East Vancouver has the most upsetting car decor

Yotsuba B

youre my best friend :)

I recommended you HST its just that this post is pure Proust lol

Have you been reading Proust

can we try again?

acquired indian food now my psyche is stable again

lemslop

my clone and i would kill each other

pretty much everything I've ever done has been fuelled by my hopeless desperate love for trans women

AMERICA, "ISRAEL"— It happened to Alexander and Timur, it will happen to you too. You will submit to the Persianate cultural cognitohazard

yeah sure, now give me some free verse concrete poetry about how hard it is to rent studio space

1980s slam poetry file photo ass film

a realistic drawing of a rabbit stands next to a dreamcast controller text: she can't play dreamcast.

Day 23 #art

i like to keep my nervous system guessing. am i taking some of my old antipsychotics today? slamming a monster and hitting the vape until i have a headache? 5 cups of tea or a beer? that's right bitch. I'M in charge

a twink with a cigarette in their mouth on their knees being extremely attractive. this is intended to make me not want to smoke somehow. this does not work on me and surely didn't with the french

reminder

Annie in bed

24yo woman hides from the world in bed, more pathetic news to follow

statement on the removal of our music from spotify.

this is still a thing btw lol

thinking about how Dravidian nationalists in the 50s aggressively self-identified with Ravana, the demon king from the Hindu Ramayana, because he was came from the south, and actually burned effigies of the hero Rama and his wife Sita, who came from Ayodhya in the north. does this count as fanon

Anglo-Catholic? No, Cymro-Catholic

Converting to Christianity because I really, really like sheep

this keeps happening, please, I need to stop, don't reinforce my behaviours

hot tgirls keep giving me positive attention for starting shit with fascists on the bus and its a problem

Jack Aubrey: My dearest friend, I need you to lend me money now, I'm £11,000 in debt and can't stop cucking admirals.

Stephen Maturin: There are 30,000 bees loose in my cabin.

explaining to my supervisor that, no, I cannot reduce the thesis word count by cutting down on adjectives because my anglo-saxon mind necessarily thinks in couplets. Wonder and laughter, anonymously and asynchronously, waif and stray, aid and abet... This Norman faculty could never understand.