Christ Cooper is God’s Favorite

If you are worried that you might have a leak go check the water meter while every tap in the house is OFF. If its spinning you have a problem!!

Just a friendly reminder that after a freeze theres a lot of sediment that comes off the pipes and it can end up clogging up your faucets, and the water pressure will drop overall bc there are a million taps dripping! Don't panic!

He-Man: "I *am* pronouns."

perhaps the germans could choose to introspect instead lol

Sex workers have always, always, always been closer to walking in the footsteps of christ than cops.

I didn’t appreciate my grandma forcing me to read the bible (it sucks), but more christians probably should.

Hey, we could all use some good news today

genuinely one of the most asinine takes known to man ✨

ah yes because this country was famously founded on the idea if we just lay down and play nicely for the state then all will be well lmao lol lmao

the worst of the worst are the ones enforcing law and order, the ones patrolling the border, policing the streets, running the prisons, wielding authority

the state is the apex criminal, the apex terrorist, the apex murderer, the apex rapist

evil is socially mobile and climbs every power ladder

Make no mistake. The reduction in funding for 5500 border patrol agents in the DHS funding bill is a feint. They'll immediately be moved to ICE. 5500 more ICE agents. Trained agents. This bill gives Trump a private internal army loyal to him, to be used on US citizens. This Bill must be defeated.

yeah they absolutely did, which makes them students criticizing the teacher and again they could just start a new alliance with all the countries we’ve terrorized and do what needs to be done instead of yapping about how we’re not doing enough ourselves 💁‍♂️

yeah we have terrible shooters over here too, i just don’t think germany should be throwing stones from glass concentration camps is all

also the fact that it’s specifically the gay dudes pride flag honestly took me out, i had to have laughed about it for five minutes straight 😭

literally took the whole world going to war for y’all to do something about it lmao

gonna be real honest: i don’t think the germans should be the ones asking “wHy ArEn’T tHeY dOiNg AnYtHiNg AbOuT tHe NaZiS???” at all actually lol

Oh you hate Americans? Should we throw a party? Should we invite Creedence Clearwater Revival?

shoutout to enby werewolves

Currently living the private practice portion of this nightmare after bailing on an unethical small group practice.

I've been waffling between "it would be great to get paid anything close to what people believe I'm making" and "UBI would open up all the runway I would need"....

this kills me so much is because this bar is absolutely in republican country, like you can literally smoke in this building (which feels VERY WEIRD) and it doesn’t get more “we fucking hate everything that is different” than a place that literally exists as a time machine back to the reagan years

honestly still laughing about this but i refuse to tell anyone at this bar who doesn’t already know because it’s so much funnier to have them not notice than it is to tell them so they can complain about it lol

a gay dude pride flag hanging in one of the straightest bars you’ll ever see, wood paneling from floor to ceiling and a vintage golden tee live golf arcade game in the foreground

also apparently the bartender hung this up years ago and i’m the first person to clock it?? like i walked by, stopped, and walked backwards to stare and it’s one of the things that made me laugh hardest because NOBODY HAS NOTICED BEFORE?? we are everywhere and the straights just don’t notice 😭

one of the biggest blessings of the night was getting to talk to the bartender about the person that died (they worked together at that same bar) and have them be like “i haven’t heard that name in a long time” but i do feel bad for dragging them into my spiral with me lol

a green haired person documenting the fact that they cry twice a year

me still hunched against the wall in the bathroom shortly after she left lol

was crouched in the corner of the bathroom sobbing while some poor patron was trying to do her drugs in peace and when she realized i wasn’t leaving (the crying probably sounded like laughter) came out and found me in tears and was like O_O and it was just a comedy of errors as spectacle all night

went to a bar for a new mic that happens to be a place i have only been to once for a friend’s funeral wake and haven’t been to in the 11 or so years since then, so it was fun vacillating across the entire spectrum of hysterics in front of my friends over something that happened before i did comedy

Literally every international situation that upsets you, somewhere in the background, some British lord got rich off of. I'm not joking, you can just throw darts at the wall blindly and be correct with this topic.

You can become disabled or homeless in an instant.

Even if you’re young and healthy.

Even if you have a “good job” and a back up plan.

Even if you think you’re doing everything right.

Disability and poverty are not moral failings.

They can happen to anyone.

borders are among the worst things humanity has ever invented. the idea that all land must belong to someone and that your worth as a person is determined by which land you’re born on is just flagrantly absurd.

I’m thinking more about how we’re all millions of flawed sense-making units having millions of different lived experiences of our current, utterly chaotic situation and (for the most part, the exceptions hopefully are obvious) all trying to see each other through.

That might not have worked if the driver had been more than just an asshole, but that’s a whole different timeline from the one we were actually on! Our agency as a group existed between a complex web of factors partially obscured by darkness and miscommunication & a wide array of possible outcomes.