Emcee Hammerpants

Thank you for publishing an easy-to-parse, straightforward article about an ongoing argument. Well done.

I love that their refusal to take back the money as the admin demands just starts with “No.”

Woof. I dunno, man. I feel like maybe you’re just trolling here. This is a pretty shit take. Real off the mark.

That shit saved my mom’s life. Her mom died of heart failure. It will probably save my life someday. The person that posted this can eat my asshole and do my taint for desert.

no amount of state propaganda will ever convince me this man is my enemy

What makes me insane about men like Musk and Trump is the way their self loathing is perfectly balanced against their narcissism to the point they can’t just commit suicide, they have to try to take as many of us with them as they can.

I can hear him crying.

If a trillion dollars can’t fill the empty pit in your belly, man. I don’t know. I just don’t know. What do you even do with that. If I were as empty as he is I think I would kill myself.

What’s going on is SCOTUS trying to salvage the flaming wreckage of this presidency.

When this is all over we should get to eat Jake Tapper.

That Walleyed Son of a Bitch Ken Paxton (that’s his Christian name) very clearly had a messy affair and is an actual real life criminal. I am supremely disinterested in Taralico hitting the follow back button.

Cornyn doesn’t have genitals. He doesn’t matter.

Oh yeah these guys are known for their restraint, caution and patience.

If that were true they would have done it

If I had to guess, probably hosting a car show in their church parking lot or some shit. They do a lot of that crap.

Well she is a spy, that’s kinda her wheelhouse

If you’re gonna make a bunch of human sacrifices I better see some goddamn crops growing in my field.

I think we’re all aligned that their instincts are dogshit right now. It just seems like there’s disagreement on the size of the pile. I dunno if they’re continuing to defy court orders to spend appropriated money or not and it seems like there’s disagreement on that point.

But have they actually spent the money is where I’m confused. I genuinely don’t know

Has he really? I just kind of assumed he was a serious problem because this administration never seems to spend the money that’s been appropriated for anything they don’t seem to like. Has that changed? (Not snarky tone I promise)

Oh I remember that dialogue. Purple hair shit or something.

Right wing dudes are real weird about physical attraction. They like a lot of rules around what it’s okay to get hard for. I wonder if they have dialogues with their own wangs about it. Like little rubber duckies.

Aaaaaand it doesn’t seem to matter anymore. lol. Well played, Chuck

Will y’all calm the fuck down?

Unmolested is an interesting word choice

I’m not sure you can make a deal unless you actually physically tie Vought up and put him in a closet. This administration’s word is worth dogshit.

Hey man, that fuckin’ ballroom isn’t gonna pay for itself, you know

They already spent the money on gold-leaf shit from Etsy

Yeah but remember how fun Charlie the Unicorn was?

There’s gonna be some kind of cottage industry that pops up around here of sleuths who exist only to answer “what the fuck did the other guy saaaaaayyyyy?”

I’m gonna let you know I wheeze-laughed through my nose at that

How many Muslims do they think there are in this country? How many do they think there are on Earth? If we’re this aggressively opposed to rule by Christian Nationalists why would we welcome a rule by Caliphate or whatever?
Good Old Tuber Town and his unbeaten streak as the dumbest motherfucker here

How far DOES his reality distortion field extend?
How far up their asses CAN his supporters fit their heads?
Let’s find out together, America! Let’s elect this stupid dipshit and find out just how deep a well of bullshit we can stand in!
What a bunch of absolute champions.