🦀 Houston 🦀

Pondering my orb tonight

Okami is one of the most beautiful games to have ever been made. Can’t believe it exists at the same time I do

There are lesbians everywhere for those with the eyes to see them

I empathize with raw milk conservatives because I too enjoy consuming things that will destroy me from the inside out (for me it’s hashbrown casserole)

If I get spoiled on Veilguard, it’s because I keep halting the story to run around with Emmrich, smash pots, and hunt chests. This isn’t my fault

I got that gnawtism (interested in biting you)

Forgot to post for a month. I’m a bad poster

Bout to fuck up three orders of corn nuggets at the local roadhouse

Houston dressed as Mr. Smee from Peter Pan. He’s wearing a red slouch beanie, a blue and white striped shirt, and white mutton chops. A Snapchat filter has yassified him and given him a full beat, plumped lips, and eye makeup

Hook: Smee help me the crocodile is takin me other hand!!

Smee if he served cunt:

I love Elden Ring

Holy shit ‼️ It’s the Genderman 🏳️‍⚧️ And he’s gonna give me a new pronoun 😱

This, I’m too bashful to be perceived, I need to be able to have a private account LMAO

I can't put my husband's @ in my profile as a beautiful romantic gesture, love is dead and we have killed it

Diagram of a crab in a small sandy crevice. The caption reads, "Crab in moist crack."

🦀 FIRST BLUESKY PINNED POST YIPPEE 🦀

Hi my name is Houston, I'm a small and angry trans man

I love crabs and gaming and being the gayest dude at the grocery store

Socially awkward but always willing to make new friends! 🕺

Please give my first ever pinned tweet a hell yeah