It should have come with a trigger warning. I cried the whole way through.
12.10.2025 04:12 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0@coldchef.bsky.social
Undertaker, Overexplainer. Anonymortician. Memento moron. Failure is always an option. I have friends everywhere. I will likely let you down.
It should have come with a trigger warning. I cried the whole way through.
12.10.2025 04:12 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0John Candy>John Belushi
Better performer.
More generous.
Kinder.
Funnier.
A better man.
Heh. Try as I might, I canโt ever do this. Stupid mortician cap.
12.10.2025 00:10 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0Ensconce Goldie Hawn in bubble wrap.
11.10.2025 21:47 โ ๐ 10 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 1 ๐ 0On the bright side, weโre spared from ever hearing Diane Keaton eulogize Woody.
11.10.2025 19:55 โ ๐ 37 ๐ 2 ๐ฌ 2 ๐ 0Please warn your undertaker first. They may have suggestions or offer assistance.
11.10.2025 00:41 โ ๐ 3 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0Fried ice cream.
11.10.2025 00:39 โ ๐ 2 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0I am always here to assist with logistics. It's the only thing I'm good at.
11.10.2025 00:38 โ ๐ 2 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 1 ๐ 0Frog log.
10.10.2025 22:52 โ ๐ 2 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0For this we needs water? Let the meshuggah burn.
10.10.2025 20:01 โ ๐ 5 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0You are welcome.
10.10.2025 03:34 โ ๐ 2 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0Tony, Tony!
Listen, listen!
Hurry, hurry!
Somethinโs missinโ.
I locked myself in the Day's Inn across the street from Graceland in Memphis, TN (there's a guitar shaped pool!) and wrote a screenplay in three days, fueled only by gin and KFC hot wings and won the LSU Screenwriting award.
09.10.2025 20:04 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0Shady looking undertaker wielding an antique dagger that may or may not have bloodstains on the blade.
Get you a friend like @jenleepa.bsky.social who will find an antique dagger at a New Orleans estate sale for you to use as a letter opener/murder weapon.
09.10.2025 16:41 โ ๐ 42 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 4 ๐ 0I love when Alamo shows something and you're like, "Well that's random," and then halfway through the movie it clicks and the audience barks laughing.
09.10.2025 15:41 โ ๐ 4 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0If "never leave your drink unattended" were a person.
08.10.2025 22:36 โ ๐ 1275 ๐ 305 ๐ฌ 74 ๐ 28NN: Dems say you won't swear in Grijalva bc you don't want her vote on Epstein
JOHNSON: No. It's scheduling
NN: But there have been Rs sworn in during pro forma sessions
MJ: Only reason was bc they flew in their family
NN: So if she flies in her family you'd do it?
MJ: Again, it's a distraction
My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from a guy who knows a kid who's going with the girl who saw him create antifa at 31 Flavors last night. I think it's serious.
09.10.2025 02:05 โ ๐ 7 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0This new comic from @theoatmeal.bsky.social about AI โartโ is exactly what I needed to read today. I hope youโll read it, too.
theoatmeal.com/comics/ai_art
I once got in an argument with a girlfriend about her spending. In the middle of the argument, UPS arrived with my pasta maker, the one and only thing I ever bought from QVC. I turned around, box in hand, and she told me, "Pasta is 80 cents a pack." I handed the box back to the delivery person.
07.10.2025 15:34 โ ๐ 5 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 1 ๐ 0Is Skyrizi that toilet thing kids keep talking about?
07.10.2025 15:31 โ ๐ 4 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0You have the best body art.
07.10.2025 15:28 โ ๐ 0 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0I love these!
05.10.2025 00:38 โ ๐ 2 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 1 ๐ 0This is nothing short of brilliant.
04.10.2025 03:30 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 1 ๐ 0I am horrified and turned on.
04.10.2025 03:30 โ ๐ 3 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0It's no one's vault but my own!
03.10.2025 19:17 โ ๐ 7 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 1 ๐ 0To my eye, that looks like a vault, not a casket. And unless it's being moved to another cemetery, it would be empty.
03.10.2025 19:09 โ ๐ 4 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 2 ๐ 0I use "fake@fake.com"
03.10.2025 19:07 โ ๐ 0 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 1 ๐ 0An embalmer explains what he wants done with his body when he dies.
03.10.2025 17:02 โ ๐ 37 ๐ 4 ๐ฌ 7 ๐ 0I know a few people who would love this bag.
03.10.2025 16:15 โ ๐ 6 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 1 ๐ 0