ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo's Avatar

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo

@coldchef.bsky.social

Undertaker, Overexplainer. Anonymortician. Memento moron. Failure is always an option. I have friends everywhere. I will likely let you down.

1,048 Followers  |  513 Following  |  1,598 Posts  |  Joined: 06.11.2024  |  2.4031

Latest posts by coldchef.bsky.social on Bluesky

It should have come with a trigger warning. I cried the whole way through.

12.10.2025 04:12 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

John Candy>John Belushi
Better performer.
More generous.
Kinder.
Funnier.
A better man.

12.10.2025 01:24 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 18    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 5    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Heh. Try as I might, I canโ€™t ever do this. Stupid mortician cap.

12.10.2025 00:10 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Ensconce Goldie Hawn in bubble wrap.

11.10.2025 21:47 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 10    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

On the bright side, weโ€™re spared from ever hearing Diane Keaton eulogize Woody.

11.10.2025 19:55 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 37    ๐Ÿ” 2    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Please warn your undertaker first. They may have suggestions or offer assistance.

11.10.2025 00:41 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 3    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Fried ice cream.

11.10.2025 00:39 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I am always here to assist with logistics. It's the only thing I'm good at.

11.10.2025 00:38 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Frog log.

10.10.2025 22:52 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

For this we needs water? Let the meshuggah burn.

10.10.2025 20:01 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 5    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

You are welcome.

10.10.2025 03:34 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Tony, Tony!
Listen, listen!
Hurry, hurry!
Somethinโ€™s missinโ€™.

10.10.2025 01:03 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I locked myself in the Day's Inn across the street from Graceland in Memphis, TN (there's a guitar shaped pool!) and wrote a screenplay in three days, fueled only by gin and KFC hot wings and won the LSU Screenwriting award.

09.10.2025 20:04 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Shady looking undertaker wielding an antique dagger that may or may not have bloodstains on the blade.

Shady looking undertaker wielding an antique dagger that may or may not have bloodstains on the blade.

Get you a friend like @jenleepa.bsky.social who will find an antique dagger at a New Orleans estate sale for you to use as a letter opener/murder weapon.

09.10.2025 16:41 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 42    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 4    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I love when Alamo shows something and you're like, "Well that's random," and then halfway through the movie it clicks and the audience barks laughing.

09.10.2025 15:41 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 4    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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If "never leave your drink unattended" were a person.

08.10.2025 22:36 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1275    ๐Ÿ” 305    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 74    ๐Ÿ“Œ 28
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NN: Dems say you won't swear in Grijalva bc you don't want her vote on Epstein

JOHNSON: No. It's scheduling

NN: But there have been Rs sworn in during pro forma sessions

MJ: Only reason was bc they flew in their family

NN: So if she flies in her family you'd do it?

MJ: Again, it's a distraction

08.10.2025 17:15 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 13762    ๐Ÿ” 4404    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1389    ๐Ÿ“Œ 524

My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from a guy who knows a kid who's going with the girl who saw him create antifa at 31 Flavors last night. I think it's serious.

09.10.2025 02:05 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 7    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
A cartoonist's review of AI art - The Oatmeal This is a comic about AI art.

This new comic from @theoatmeal.bsky.social about AI โ€œartโ€ is exactly what I needed to read today. I hope youโ€™ll read it, too.

theoatmeal.com/comics/ai_art

08.10.2025 21:10 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 6    ๐Ÿ” 5    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I once got in an argument with a girlfriend about her spending. In the middle of the argument, UPS arrived with my pasta maker, the one and only thing I ever bought from QVC. I turned around, box in hand, and she told me, "Pasta is 80 cents a pack." I handed the box back to the delivery person.

07.10.2025 15:34 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 5    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Is Skyrizi that toilet thing kids keep talking about?

07.10.2025 15:31 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 4    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

You have the best body art.

07.10.2025 15:28 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I love these!

05.10.2025 00:38 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

This is nothing short of brilliant.

04.10.2025 03:30 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I am horrified and turned on.

04.10.2025 03:30 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 3    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

It's no one's vault but my own!

03.10.2025 19:17 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 7    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

To my eye, that looks like a vault, not a casket. And unless it's being moved to another cemetery, it would be empty.

03.10.2025 19:09 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 4    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I use "fake@fake.com"

03.10.2025 19:07 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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An embalmer explains what he wants done with his body when he dies.

03.10.2025 17:02 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 37    ๐Ÿ” 4    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 7    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I know a few people who would love this bag.

03.10.2025 16:15 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 6    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

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