George Pete Caleodis

Who needs alarm clocks when you've got stress to wake you
up in the mornings?

You'll never get rich
by wagering on people's
meaning what they say.

Loving the work.
Hating the business.

tmw the young mom taxed with opening airport Quaker Steak informs you that yes, you can have scotch at 5 AM, so you offer to buy her a car

Would this fit on a Franklin Covey poster?

"When you reach the end of your rope, cut off a length long enough to strangle your enemies, then jump down and exact the revenge of someone who has nothing left to lose!"

Just got my first crown.
So if anyone needs me, I'll be joining AARP and handwriting letters to newspaper editors.

lingering covid anxiety:
Stay inside and order delivery!

me:
You can't tell me what to do -
you're not my REAL anxiety!

If there's not a
Halloween-themed burlesque
performer named
"Harlot O'Scare-a",
there really should be.

Please watch… she is so so right… another powerful woman speaks

Pardon me miss, your exposed midriff & stilettos suggest you're looking for a committed long-term relationship. Do you often Saturday morning at Ralph's?

She:
Isn't it time you lose weight?

Me: Yes.

She: Why dont you?

Me:
Ok. *squints hard* How's that?

She: Were you trying to help?

Me: Were you?

"Yo, baby, are you a parking ticket? Cuz the amount of money you seem to require is completely disproportionate to any offense I've committed!"
#WorstPickUpLines

A body was found in a barrel floating at Malibu Lagoon State Beach - the barrel is made of black plastic, holds 55 gallons -

and now rents for $1200 per month.

Forget the knees - you're the whole damned bee!

"Yo baby, were you part of The Spanish Inquisition? 'Cuz you got a rack that would make me confess to anything!" #WorstPickUpLines

any metal + any animal =
name for a strip club

Try to love all people
. . .even the stupid people.
After all,
stupid people
need the most love.

OCDville:
getting here is 52.873% of the fun

Two years ago, a 74-year-old Italian cheesemaker died after being crushed by thousands of wheels of falling cheese.

Once again, I offer gorgonzolances.

Hey, when you ricotta go, you ricotta go.

I just hope I don't die provolone.

Oh, that's not my REAL façade. . .*evil snicker*

If you took all the "Friends" episodes and laid them end-to-end, they would reach the conclusion that I need to get a life.

National Lifeguard Championships happening in Huntington Beach.

Meanwhile, I'm in NoHo celebrating The Beerlympics.

"my building lost power"

"a dog was on the freeway"

"phone died"

"just a f-ed up situation"

"traffic sucked *sips Starbucks*"

Did I miss any?

Travel once meant packing my laptop.
Now, alls I need is a trusty smart phone...
and iPad...backup batteries, chargers...
& my laptop.

Someone stepped on Kit Harington's novelty 80's timepiece. . .now his Swatch has ended.

Big-Plastic-Cup-with-Typing-Paper-Slid-Underneath-Inched-Onto-Sturdy-Clipboard method of humane spider eviction: perfected!

"Did you ever wonder if hippopotamuses think that rhinos are unicorns?"
- Milhouse Van Houten

Still disappointed there hasn't been a Star Wars Barbie with Rylo Ken.

I do not drive with Google Maps.
He who drives with Google Maps
has forgotten the face of his father.
I drive with my anger.