Stumpy had to go!

There’s a Hitler Park in Circleville. It has a disc golf course.

If you have a senator that votes to end the shutdown without extending the ACA subsidies, they shouldn’t see a day where you don’t call their office to call them a coward. Mine are both facist twats, so I call every day to calm them different names

The bank says I can’t have a house because the computer told them I’ve got shifty eyes

My kids call our close friends aunties and uncles. I guess I have to go to jail now.

Now write the headline like you would have if it was Biden. See there? See what hacks you are?

I would actually enjoy playing a shooter on the world’s most uncanny train

He could just say, I picked it out of a book and now that I know what it is, I’m getting it covered tomorrow. I’d think he was a dip shit, but one that could learn a lesson

Let him cook. This is the “I was a liberal but the woke left cancelled me” stage of the grift

It WAS AI generated and the “brown liquid” was shit.

I like how the Times closes the comments on basically every opinion board piece now. We welcome constructive dialogue…oh god, not like that!

I’m in Ohio and we have the same thing. Every couple months there’s a story about a small town that’s about half an hour from a city where there are 50 car burglaries in a night. Molon Labe is Greek for free gun in console

If it helps, y’all can take some pictures of me with my shirt off. Just don’t be weird about.

Seems pretty disingenuous to use a photo form 1992 on this post

That’s a nice lookin goat

Please help. My family is starving because I put our entire grocery budget into my digital NIL war chest

Yeah, but how hot did he look while he was doing it?

We’re gonna send America’s hottest, most hairless dudes to do war crimes. They’re going to be so fit!

The guy who played war on the weekends has some pretty strong opinions on what makes a warrior. Weird that they’re all aesthetic.

It makes sense to me that this is all the Astros’ fault

Upon delivery the proud nation of Uzbekistan will own about 45% of all the world’s commercial jets

The rapture will obviously be based in America which was famously the home of Jesus

You realize that you have to have 1500 qualified flight hours to even be eligible to be an airline pilot right?

We’ll never be able to overstate how weird these guys stand

There’s free speech and then there’s speech I disagree with. If you guess wrong you go to jail!

He has lots of dollars so he must be good at business. This can’t possibly be a house of cards

The only category in which a person wearing those would have a measurable advantage is total wedgies received

Wait until you learn about hockey stretches. There’s a whole lotta plot on the ice for pregame warmups.

I rule the 5th circuit is unconstitutional. Fuck these fuckin fucks.

Seems like the news should be talking about this.

Look, I’d never threaten physical violence. That would be wrong. I’m just saying there’s a German word that means something like “a face in need of a fist” in apropos of nothing