Stefan

Keir Starmer: We are outlawing all forms of adult content.

Mary Berry (appearing shortly thereafter in Starmer's recurrent fantasy wherein she dresses as Minnie the Minx while making Cadbury's Smash): Good boy Keithy, keep it all for us. Now... watch for lumps.

Every green topping.

When A&W was still available, I used to pour it into the glass via a small piece of ice cream held in a sieve. (Its head was more stable that way.)

Ultimately, neither Xbox nor Peter Mandelson could outlast the Evangelion franchise.

Today I shall declare that corn is a fruit.

Arrest them.

"Hate the sinner, love the sin", or so their version goes.

Yoko Taro has done it again!

Not even Mike Myers could value onions this much.

Due to a small typographical error, the HR slide was the highlight of today's all-hands meeting.

Yoko Taro presents Whole Bucket of Dunkin Coffee.

At last, a Dunkin product into which a whole basketball can be dunked.

David Cage's Eva: Become Happy

There will soon be more Evangelion reboots than films named "Spider-Man 2".

Argon Exodus Evangelion starring Pen³.

Most trusted person? David Attenborough lost his temper somehow?

We millennials lag behind our parents across all economic metrics except one: our access to chocolate-based breakfasts.

Melon-flavoured 'Phanta.

A gimmick horseracing sequel entitled "Uma2sume".

The recipe has been an open secret for a decade now.

They should have learned the delicate ways of the KFC imitators.

It has been a rough decade for American gaming events that have names beginning with "E".

Slices of raw onion, each forming an intact ring.

Battered rings of onion, fried crisp.

Onion-flavoured snacks comprised of fried or baked corn.

Only one of these preparations can truly be called "onion rings". The other two must receive entirely different names. Choose wisely.

That corn better be made out of steak, somehow.

Peppers remain the economical choice here.

A Shrek licence would have lengthened the investment's returns.

Wicked Juice has been reduced to clear. Its flavour can be described as the end result of melting assorted Haribo gummies, only with artificial sweeteners supplanting any and all sugars.

Carnal reluctance is the most English of virtues. (This is why it is considered newsworthy when royals produce heirs.)

Even the newts are showing a gradual, measured inclination.

European toad (bufo bufo).

Check your local ponds; it is very much Toad Season.

Mine (or more accurately, my landlord's) has a knob instead.

Not "soft and sweet", I should add.

A proposal for a new insult:

The Tic-tacs of earthly suffering.

One of those days.