Mark Gessner

Why is it "I'm afraid of heights" and not "I have atmosfear."

To be clear: you're right about both.

Black folks: we just wish you didn’t try to make everything about you all the time

White people:

"R-U-D-YyyyyYYyy? BECAUSE I GOTTA!!!"

Following some recent upheaval, CBS News is thrilled to announce our newest team member, Twitch streamer and Reichmarshall of "No Nut Nation," the Heritage Foundation's youngest fellow Peabis Breviary.

This is one of the coolest paragraphs I have ever read. So.

lol goddamn it

L O U D E R.

It wasn't today. But it will be soon. It's going to be so great.

Yhesssssss shinkansen snacks were such a vibe. I remember that like it was yesterday. Nothing made me feel more like a citizen of world at 17 years old than eating delicious stuff like that that was juuuust different enough to feel exotic all while silently flying past countryside and city at 200mph

1999, Omihachiman in Shiga Prefecture, walking back to our bikes by the train after soccer practice. That's where you got this sandwich. 😍

I can't wait for it. It's just a race between that amazing day and how fucked everything gets. I can't wait for that day.

I like to imagine that cat posted this.

Objectively good that this was asked, objectively good that it was (presumably) expertly answered, and objectively a wonderful and ticklish set of words and phrases.

Letter grade: A+++

Number grade: 100/10

FUCK

I'm a huge Gary fan. I have to be honest.

Soon though. 🤞

YES!!!! LITERALLY SAME!!! My wife and I took an anniversary trip to San Diego last year and I had this precise experience! Same with Ibises in Florida. Just strollin' by, no big deal, just a cool ass bird I had never seen that people seemed annoyed by in parking lots. 😆

I fully get that. Here's rooting for that! It's so fun to go to place where the "boring" birds in a random park are all somewhat new. 🤓I had a job in Hawaii a couple years ago and I would just *stare* at Zebra Doves and Mynas. I must have looked nuts. But I had literally never seen them before!

The more bird people on this coast the better! If you ever get up this way I have recs and recs and recs. Especially in Central Park!

C'mon. The best.

I would pass out. They're so cool. I live near NYC so the migrations are absolutely awesome, especially for warblers which are my fave, but we never get fancy stuff like THEM😍

Aaaaaaand follow

If you're anything like me you would have been stoked for the Mockingbird too! 😆 Those guys are hilarious. Their faces are always so cranky looking. Do you post a lot of bird stuff?

Oh my GOD! This dude is so on my desperate-to-see list. Legitimately one of the coolest birds ever. I love that you got to see him!

I bet it happens this year. It's going to be so great. What a relief that day will be.

Gary: Are they on this side?

You: No Gary, for the reasons I mentioned a second ag-

Gary: What about this other side?